Let us disagree over the economy — over inflation and unemployment; let us disagree over who and what our taxes should fund, over law enforcement policies and over welfare programs. Discourse is essential to democracy; and disagreement is certainly unavoidable in politics. But we aren’t disagreeing over gas prices anymore; we’re disagreeing over whether or not I have the right to govern my own body. As such, when deeply held moral values are at the core of our political opinions, they undoubtedly will, and should, impact friendships.
Some policy differences are inconsequential. Other policy differences, however, are an expression of meaningful human values. Therefore, it’s partly a matter of which political opinions people disagree on, but also a question of how many fundamental issues on which you disagree. And beyond a certain point, which is difficult to measure, too many disagreements will make it hard to have a true friendship. Friendships depend on shared values, not only shared interests and hobbies.
James Baldwin, the late writer and Civil Rights activist, once said, “We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.”
Disagreement is inevitable — even healthy — in relationships; but when you bring human rights into the conversation, that’s a different story. This election was not solely about politics; it was about morals. It was about defending, or denying, the rights of the many marginalized individuals in this country whose voices are suppressed. A candidate who gives comfort to racists, for example, is not merely expressing a difference of opinion; they’re standing on the other side of a significant moral divide. Trump is a man who opposed the Equality Act — a federal legislation expanding civil rights to protect LGBTQ+ people — in 2019. He has also described immigrants as “poisoning the blood of our country” (2023), as “animals” (2024), and “rapists” (2015), calling for immediate mass deportation.
When you vote for a man who said “you can do anything [to women]. Grab ’em by the p*ssy,”—a man who has had sexual misconduct allegations from over 26 women—you are not voting for your daughters, mothers, wives and girlfriends; you are not voting for women.
When you vote for a man who was endorsed by the Klu Klux Klan’s official newspaper, The Crusader, in 2016, and the Taliban in 2020; a man who is supported by, and has praised, Vladamir Putin and Kim Jong Un — two murderous, totalitarian dictators; a man who claimed Hitler has done “some good things” (according to John Kelly, former White House Chief of Staff), you are showing who you stand with.
When you vote for a convicted felon, the only federal official to be impeached twice, and the only President to incite an insurrection on the Capitol, you are not voting to uphold democracy.
When you vote for a man like Donald Trump, you are showing what you stand for. And that shows me that we don’t have the same values. I choose friends who care about others besides themselves, who care about democracy and equal rights for all, and who strive to cultivate a culture of compassion and unity in this country.
I stand for respecting others' life and political differences; I believe our differences are what makes us great as a nation. It is when the political opinions start to impact people’s fundamental life differences that we have a problem. Minor political differences don’t need to make an impact; major political differences should impact friendships. When a political candidate cannot respect our differences as humans, we are in the realm of major political differences.
Let me make it clear that when I say political opinions should impact friendships, I’m not saying they should necessarily end them; but when I know someone supported someone like Trump, I have a mental asterisk next to the idea of them. And how much it detracts from my feelings about them is going to be due to some combination of an assessment of how much they understand about the values they’ve supported, how much they accept those value differences, and other things I might know about the person.
For those who choose ignorance — acknowledging the severity of all of these facts and still overlooking them — you are condoning hatred and intolerance. I can continue to coexist and work with those with whom I disagree on fundamental issues, but where meaningful friendships are concerned, I don’t want to constantly “agree to disagree.”
Sienna Bevan, Daily Press intern
