This Is Not What You Think
By CHARLES ANDREWS
HOW TO WRITE A COLUMN
In less than three hours.
Instead of 5-25 hours.
When you are unexpectedly called out of town for a week.
Have to leave at 4:30 a.m. to catch a plane.
And haven’t even a clue about the subject of your next column.
But don’t want to break your string of more than 250 columns over six years turned in every week, never missed one, not even after open heart surgery, typing with one finger because all the others were wired for something other than typing that column.
FOR STARTERS
You use more subheads.
(“FOR STARTERS” -- that’s a subhead.)
See? You learned something.
And make each sentence a new paragraph.
And like those term papers you wrote in high school where you were also clueless but
had to turn something in, you pad and fake like crazy.
But you never had a teacher so dumb they fell for it, did you?
How am I doing? Do you like it so far?
Are you falling for it?
You’re still reading.
Bless you.
You will be rewarded.
Maybe.
-- you didn’t really think I had run out of things to say, did you?
HISTORIC OCEAN PARK
It was literally a turn-away crowd last week for local historian Richard Orton’s presentation of Ocean Park history, at the Ocean Park Library — one of the few remaining Carnegie-funded structures still functioning as a library. Built in 1917-18, it was declared an historic landmark in Santa Monica in 1977.
Seven years later local OP architect Bob Taylor was hired to design the addition, a children’s area with handicap access.
And that’s the kind of stuff Orton reeled off, with slides of historic photos, for nearly an hour to a rapt audience.
“When I moved into Ocean Park in January 1970, it was not the popular and beautiful place in Santa Monica. It was the local hangout, and it has changed drastically over the years,” said Orton. He’ll be doing it again a couple of times in the near future so look for it.
Even if you were there for this one you probably didn’t catch everything, and he keeps adding new material.
DON’T MISS THIS SHOW
This Tuesday, Oct. 3, downtown LA at the beautiful Mayan Theater, a benefit all-star concert by and for the Playing for Change Foundation (more on them).
Original Doobie Brothers Tom Johnston, Patrick Simmons and John McFee, Little Feat’s Paul Barrere and Fred Tackett, War’s legendary harp man Lee Oskar, drummer on every album James Gadson, Ellis Hall, Vasti Jackson, Nahko and more, with a 10-piece band from 10 different nations around the world.
That figures, because 10 years ago Playing for Change began as a brilliant idea of a small group of filmmakers to make a video literally world-wide, layering in all sorts of musicians, that showed the power of music to connect people, no matter what their differences.
They started with the late great Roger Ridley, a regular on the Third Street Promenade, whose growling version of “Stand By Me” would stop you dead in your tracks.
That’s just what happened to my wife and me one evening, but after a few moments, she said, I know that guy. Turns out her vocal trio The Goils performed at the spectacular opening of New York, New York in Las Vegas (tens of thousands rushed through the doors at its midnight opening), and so did Ridley.
He had been plucked off the streets of New York,
where he was already making a pretty good living.
When that gig finally ended he remained in Vegas but came to Santa Monica every weekend, stayed with friends, put his hat out on Friday and Saturday evenings and went home with enough to continue his comfortable semi-retirement. I had him perform on my cable TV show, shot here, “Not Just Another LA Music Show.”
The idea of Playing for Change became a foundation, which recently moved its headquarters to Santa Monica. The touring group has played on the Pier and they were mesmerizing. This show should top that by oodles. See you there.
NEW SUBHEAD
How ‘bout them Golden State Warriors? Turning down their invitation as NBA champions to the Trump White House — those are my boys! When it comes to politics and right and wrong, some athletes have more balls than politicians.
I switched my loyalty to the Warriors three years ago when it became clear my Lakers were going to allow co-owner Jim Buss to continue to ruin the once-great franchise. Just too painful to watch, game after game. This wasn’t just a slump, this was dynasty destruction that would last years.
I may have to switch back to the Lakers now that they have some Magic going for them (he’s made some remarkable trades) but it sure was fun watching the Golden Boys and their amazingly athletic and entertaining style of play.
And now rebellion is spreading at least through the NFL. I agree and have complained for many years that the “Star Spangled Banner” is not only a terror to try to sing (it was meant to be a vocal exercise, not a national anthem) but the words, about a forgotten battle in a forgotten war (however, the British did burn the White House), are warlike and
racist, at least in the third verse.
And Francis Scott Key went on to become a fierce fighter for slavery and against abolition.
“America the Beautiful” is my choice. Preferably by Ray Charles.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Can I get away with this more than once? Even once?
QUOTES OF THE WEEK: “Objective journalism and an opinion column are about as similar as the Bible and Playboy magazine.” -- Walter Cronkite
“I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.” -- Mark Twain
“A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style -- and
they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the
newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers.” -- P. J. O'Rourke
“Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.” -- Will Rogers
Charles Andrews has lived in Santa Monica for 31 years and wouldn’t live anywhere else
in the world. Really. Send love and/or rebuke to him at therealmrmusic@gmail.com
