Often when someone reaches remarkable fame and fortune if and when there's a fall from grace, it can be all the more humiliating. Enter Rudy Giuliani. As Mayor of New York on 9/11, Rudy was tirelessly on the ground comforting New Yorkers and the country that we would overcome the disastrous terrorist attack and be stronger than ever. He was so beloved he received standing ovations everywhere, which unfortunately only fed his insatiable ego.
And yet Rudy could be charming. When a crowd refused to stop applauding, Rudy joked, “If you keep this up I'm going to have to sing.” Or, three weeks later on Saturday Night Live's first return to the air, Lorne Michaels jokingly asked Rudy, “Is it okay to be funny?” Deadpan, Rudy responded, “Why start now?”
Rudy's fame even extended to England. In October 2001, Queen Elizabeth II named Rudy “Knight of the British Empire” for his “outstanding support to the bereaved British families in New York.” This honorary title entitled Rudy to put K.B.E. after his name. (These days the K.B.E. could stand for Knucklehead, Blowhard and Egoist.)
Even liberal Oprah Winfrey labeled Rudy “America's Mayor!” And over the next four years Giuliani raked in an estimated one hundred million dollars in speaking fees and analyzing security for ultra wealthy companies. The fortune enabled him to own six houses and belong to eleven country clubs.
Feeling invincible, in 2008 Rudy ran for president though curiously avoided all primaries but Florida where he bombed horribly. And just like that the party was over. That is until Donald Trump came down the Trump Tower escalator and announced he was running for president. Suddenly Rudy saw a chance to return to the spotlight.
Just like former Republican Rick Wilson's best selling book, “Everything Trump Touches Dies,” slowly Rudy devolved from “America's Mayor” to “Trump's Chump.” Rudy made a fool of himself promoting Trump's rigged election lies even admitting “We have lots of theories, just no evidence.” Rudy was joined on this tour by respected attorney Jenna Ellis. (Who recently avoided prison in Georgia with a plea deal of probation for five years and is likely to lose her law license.)
Among the many Rudy fiascoes there was a press conference scheduled at the prestigious Four Seasons Hotel. But, and don't ask how, it wound up at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot next to a raunchy adult book store. (Future home of the Trump Library?)
And then there was a press conference where, as Rudy spoke, black hair dye dripped down his face. And another press conference during which Rudy released flatulence (fa*ts), not once but twice, that could be heard through the microphone and horrified Jenna Ellis.
Among the myriad of trials Rudy will be facing, one is a sexual assault charge filed by the highly attractive Noel Dunphy who was in an abusive relationship and sought his help. Rudy allegedly made her his Director of Business Development at a $1 million year salary he never paid and occasionally insisted she wear only her bra and panties. (Which sounds like the 2020 Borat comedy about New York culture that somehow Rudy was conned to be in and made to look like a pervert.)
As for the $153 million debt as revealed in Rudy's recent bankruptcy filing, Giuliani owes at least 49 creditors. The group includes the Georgia mother and daughter poll workers he defamed to whom he owes $146,000,000.
Additionally, Giuliani owes $1 million in federal and state taxes and $388,000 in outstanding legal fees, $3.4 million in potential liabilities from lawsuits that accuse him of failing to pay accountants, lawyers and phone bills and Joe's Hair Dye Salon. (Okay, I made up Joe's salon.)
It seems likely Rudy will live the rest of his life flat broke and The Donald won't lift a finger because loyalty only runs one way with Trump. Meanwhile, if Rudy receives a prison sentence or loses his law license either could qualify him for knighthood forfeiture. Rudy could say “That's should be the worst that happens to me” because he knows it won't be.
Rudy faces 13 felony counts of election interference in Georgia. As a life-long prosecutor he knows that likely there's an orange jump suit waiting for him. In fact, reportedly when he first learned of the indictments he told a confidant, “I always thought I would die a free man.”
Christmas, which we just celebrated, honors Jesus who preached peace and love. On January 6, 2021, at the Ellipse near the Capitol, Rudy shouted to a violent mob of Trump supporters “Trial by combat!” And in Trump's incredibly un-presidential Christmas message to the country he wished his enemies “May they rot in hell!”
