Scores of superstitions surround fashion and beauty, and this inauspicious date of Friday the 13th is the perfect time to check them out.
Let’s start in the bedroom. When getting your beauty sleep, you want to do so in a bed going east and west, the path of the sun. If your bed is north and south, you are doomed to restless nights. This European superstition had no bearing on my bed-placement decision five years ago.
My bedroom is rectangular (and the size of a large walk-in closet). My bed is in the only place that it will fit without making it so a person has to climb over the footboard to get in and out of the bathroom.
Of course, if you’re feng shui’ing your bedroom, the direction of your bed doesn’t matter. What matters is your bed’s relationship to the door: They should be as far away from each other as possible.
We all know that getting out on the wrong side of the bed will lead to a bad day, but did you know that you must get out of bed on the same side that you got in? Or, that when making your bed, you mustn’t let yourself be interrupted. If you do, once again, you’re doomed to a restless night. Worse, if more than two people help make a bed, there will be a death in the family. It seems to me that the most logical answer here is to just skip bed-making.
Also, it’s bad luck to put a hat on a bed. Really bad luck. Death. I’ve put many a hat on my bed, and seeing as I’m still around, I’m thinking that maybe this superstition only applies to cowboys. As I am not, nor have I ever been a cowboy, I also don’t have to worry about shaving before a rodeo, or steering clear of the color yellow.
Let’s move to the bathroom. If you are a Welsh miner, you should toss out the loofah. Washing the dirt off your whole body will also wash the blackness off your heart, and with a pure heart, you’ll be ready for death. Leaving yourself a little bit grimy will prevent the mine from caving in on top of you.
After your bath, you’ll want to do your hair. I know that the old wives tale says to never pluck a gray hair or 10 more will grow in its place, but this just isn’t true. I would advise against plucking grays because if you do it enough, you might give yourself a little bald spot. If you’re in between visits to the salon, you could try an Oscar Blandi Pronto Colore Root Touch Up & Highlighting Pen for $23. A much cheaper option is to color the offending gray with mascara. If you have black hair like me, do what I do and whip out a super cheap Marks-A-Lot.
Whatever you do, don’t cut your hair when the moon is waning. You’ll go bald.
If, while looking in the mirror, you see an eyelash has fallen out, place it on the back of your hand, make a wish, and wave your hand over the opposite shoulder. If the eyelash falls off, your wish will come true.
Time to get dressed.
It’s evidently bad luck to leave shoes upside down, and it’s also bad luck to put shoes on a table. I’m not sure what would happen if you put shoes on a table upside down. Would it result in doubly bad luck, or do two wrongs make a right?
My favorite fashion superstition says that a woman should never knit her beloved socks, or he’ll walk away from her. Fortunately, the only thing I know how to knit is a scarf.
Mariel Howsepian digs black coffee, fairy tales and a man in coveralls. She lives in Santa Monica and can be reached at Mariel_Rodriguez@antiochla.edu.