It was twenty years ago today, that I was given a role to play. I can walk into a courtroom and speak to a judge from beyond the bar. I can go into chambers and chat with opposing counsel and an engaged, caring judicial officer.
Over the past 20 years I’ve represented over a thousand people in civil court, criminal court, worker’s compensation appeals boards, and condominium associations, but primarily in family court where I’ve attempted with varying degrees of success to bring sanity and order to an insane, disordered and emotionally charged system.
My experience has been that there are marvelously devoted judicial officers, and others who are clearly well past their expiration date, and some who never should have been put in the family arena. The judicial demeanor required in family court is extreme restraint of tongue, near limitless patience, and a communication dexterity that is best pictured as the mom in The Incredibles. Judges have to explain extremely complex, intricate legal rules and theories to people with IQs in the 80s and then their next case can involve two highly trained lawyers who are skilled at verbal warfare - it’s no easy feat.
The roster of most divorce and child custody lawyers like me ranges from the multi-millionaires I represent who are seeking protection from money hungry and obnoxiously aggressive attorneys, to the average joe, who just wants to strike a fair deal regarding child support. I’ve had cases where the parties had millions of dollars at stake and everyone was rational and fair and the case was over in a few meetings, and others where they barely had a couch to fight over, and it’s hearings and fights for years.
After 20 years I’ve seen the best of humanity, and certainly the almost worst. What I’ve learned is that the system wants things and people to be in black and white, it needs stark contrast to make decisions. The problem is that humans are infinite shades of grey. I’ve represented a registered sex offender who was a marvelous father and due to one mistake in judgment, will spend his entire life living as a pariah. I’ve represented the “perfect” mother, and saw behind the mask to learn the truth, and pitied her children who will spend a lifetime recovering from her abusive behavior.
For 20 years I’ve tried to be a good guy. I know the law, I know what a judge is likely going to do, and more importantly, I’m darned good at knowing what the other side is going to do. Frequently it doesn’t matter. I may be a really smart divorce strategist, but if my client doesn’t want to take direction, at the end of the day, all my talents go to waste.
It’s rather like the current situation we have at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. The Generals know what to do, but it’s the President who makes the final call.
I write all of this with the current Santa Monica City Council in mind. They lost at trial on districting. As a lawyer, I’d tell them to suck it up and move on. But they’re the client. And let’s face it, they have a very large purse to fund the fight, and if they delay another year, or three, they stay in power - guaranteed. Who cares if they waste millions of taxpayer dollars, there’s more where that comes from.
Tonight is Pam O’Connor’s swan song. For now. Could she return? Of course. Should she? Not my call. But after 24 years, I’d say time to hang it up, go write your book and peddle your connections as a lobbyist/consultant and fade to the history books.
Ms. O’Connor has been on the council my entire legal career. Remarkable. Her service to the city should be noted, even when I didn’t agree with her, she was at least in the game, representing her constituents, I hope. Fare thee well Ms. O’Connor, and thank you for your 24 years of service.
David Pisarra is a Los Angeles Divorce and Child Custody Lawyer specializing in Father’s and Men’s Rights with the Santa Monica firm of Pisarra & Grist. He welcomes your questions and comments. He can be reached at dpisarra@pisarra.com or 310/664-9969. You can follow him on Twitter @davidpisarra
