Handling the current and future generations of online connoisseurs is something that falls on all facets of society, from educators and professionals to parents giving their children their first cell phone or laptop. While kids are set up to use these devices, they are still vulnerable to various schemes, including the cruel reality of sexual exploitation.
To better prepare parents to keep children out of the traps of online predators, Dr. Charlene Doak-Gebauer screened her documentary Vulnerable Innocence to a set of concerned citizens at the Laemmle Monica Film Center on March 20, followed by a panel discussion with Doak-Gebauer and several others who have made online safety their life’s work. The panel was moderated by Fox 11 News’ Hal Eisner.
In the documentary, cut down into a 45-minute running time in order to have the after-film discussion, various stakeholders in the online safety realm spoke on how children can be duped into taking part in sexually-explicit situations, both in the United States and abroad. Aside from the interviews, including some from parents who had their children fall victim to exploitation schemes, the film had several depictions of scenarios showing how kids can fall prey. This included two older men using voice and image filtering techniques to get into online chat rooms with children, finding out information about the kids’ whereabouts and coercing them into taking sexual pictures and video.
A computer science specialist and educator, Doak-Gebauer was personally a victim of sexual assault by a teacher on a high school field trip, and uses her personal experience to teach parents to be more vigilant in their children’s online experience.
"No one knows what that’s like until they experience it … my determination is with me and my family," Doak-Gebauer said.
Another personal victim on the panel was online exploitation survivor Denise Gomez, who gave a harrowing account of her sexual assault by a man she met through social media. Gomez received a request when she was 14 years old, chatting with a person she thought was a friend on various apps like Facebook and chatting service Kik.
"This was someone I was talking to every single day, I couldn’t wait to get home after school to run and talk to him … I remember him making it very clear that this [had] to be a secret," Gomez said.
After nearly a year of chatting, the predator’s language began to change, asking more questions of a sexual nature. When Gomez turned 15, the predator suggested an in-person meeting, making it clear that Gomez should not tell her family because they "wouldn’t understand."
Saying she did up her hair and makeup in advance of the meeting, which was supposed to be a yogurt shop and movie date, the predator’s car showed up down Gomez’ block in the back seat, with a woman and her baby in the front.
"Part of me felt like something was wrong, but part of me felt safe, because I saw a woman and a baby in the car, [so] I got in the car," Gomez said. "The second I sat down, he put his hand on my thigh, and it kind of still haunts me today the way he was looking at me, as if [to say] ‘I got you, you’re mine.’"
Ending up at a house instead of the yogurt shop, the woman took off in her car, leaving just Gomez and her captor, who sexually abused her for hours in his garage. The incident, Gomez said, led to "years of pain and suffering" including depression and suicide attempts.
"I remember it clearly when he finished raping me … he [said] ‘who’s going to believe you’ … he was just trying to put it on me, saying that ‘you enjoyed it, you didn’t fight back,’ … [but] my body and my mind shut down completely, I was in shock, I couldn’t believe what was happening," Gomez said.
Like the filmmaker, Gomez has used the situation as fuel to teach parents and children alike, speaking to high school and middle school students about her story as a warning.
"I want to shed light to survivors, and to educate parents and students that this really does happen … when I share my story, parents are really in shock to know that this happens," she added.
The panel further spoke on how a sexual exploitation situation can impact a child, and offered resources for parents on how to remain vigilant. The panel included The Freedom Ride Project founder Elisabeth Gegner, Father-Con Founder Patrick Erlandson and Parenting in the Digital World author Clayton Crawford. Cranford, who worked in law enforcement as a school resource officer, said it was a "heartbreaking situation" to meet with the victims of online predators.
"No one was really talking about the internet or social media and its impact … [kids] were way over their head … breaking them in ways that aren’t easily fixed," Cranford said. "I would find myself sitting across [a] table from a child who was a victim and a parent, and there was a common theme forming, which was [that] I had a good kid who made a bad choice, [who] was manipulated."
Cranford’s solution to parents who didn’t grow up with the internet is to be proactive, as law enforcement who attacks these crimes may be "inherently reactive," leaving the teaching up to parental figures.
"As parents, we don’t have an option to opt out of your child’s digital world," Cranford said. "We absolutely need to be engaging."
For more information on "Vulnerable Innocence," visit their website.
