In Godfather III, aging Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) complains, “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!” I mention it because that's how I feel about Donald Trump.
Each week I'm determined not to write about him. But then Trump says something so offensive that I'm “pulled back in,” dismayed that he might win in November. (Biting my tongue.)
Examples of people Trump has insulted include: a Gold Star family, the parents of the late Capt. Khan; Muslims with “the ban;” Mexicans he called “rapists and criminals; African-Americans by being the Birther-in-Chief; and women he's referred to as, “Bimbos, pigs and dogs.”
As if he's anyone to talk, Trump frequently belittles women's appearance. About model Heidi Klum, he said, “She's not a 10 anymore;” about Carly Fiorina “Look at that face;” and about Hillary, “She doesn't even look presidential.”
An extreme narcissist, Trump actually thinks he's handsome. (Making me question his eyesight.) But Trump's doctor says he'd be the “healthiest president ever.” The truth is, KFC/Taco Bowl chowing Trump would actually be the heaviest president since Taft.
Also I imagine insulted, are small business owners Trump has stiffed over the years. We can add to that list the “USA Freedom Kids,” dancers who opened for Trump at a January rally. The little girls' recent law suit is just one of the 3500+ Trump has been in over the last ten years.
I would suspect many veterans are also insulted by Trump. First off, he was only against the Iraq War after it was failing. In fact, in 2002 he said, “I just wish we got it right the first time,” meaning he was more of a hawk than Dick Cheney. (Google “Dick Cheney 1994.”)
Secondly, draft-dodger, pro-torture Trump never apologized to former POW John McCain for saying, “He's no war hero.” As it happens, when Trump was asked when was the last time he apologized to anyone for anything, he couldn't remember.
Trump certainly hasn't apologized for his latest immigration flip-flop. Going from “mass deportation” to possible “legal status for undocumented workers,” Trump changes his policies more often than his underwear.
Speaking of immigration, Trump's modeling agency allegedly coached models, many underage, how to avoid getting caught. And, over a month ago, Trump promised Melania would hold a press conference about the possibility she worked here illegally. Don't hold your breath.
While he was fined by the IRS, Trump also hasn't apologized for his $25k donation to the campaign of Florida Attorney General, Pam Bondi. He did so four days after her office announced it was considering prosecuting Trump University for fraud. Surprise, surprise, the case was dropped. Trump brags, “When I call they kiss my ass.” (Does that sound presidential?)
Finally, the subject du jour, Trump's meeting weeks ago with Enrique Peña Nieto, the President of Mexico. During Trump's speech, he said he considered Nieto “a friend.” But a few hours later he was in a Twitter war with him. Can you say “erratic??” (Alex Salmond, Scotland’s former First Minister, warns Trump is an emotionally stunted “man-child,” so unstable his becoming president “should give us all the heebie-jeebies”.)
Amazingly that it went almost unreported but, as Trump delivered his Mexico speech, video revealed he forgot to take a bobby pin out of his hair. (As they say online, OMG!) And I think I know how it happened.
Years ago, I saw Trump on CSPAN, hawking a book or maybe it was Trump Steaks. To my bewilderment, Trump revealed he uses bobby pins to hold his locks in place before using hair spray. (Obviously all to hide his bald spots.) Forget taxes, Trump's not even transparent about his hair.
Trump noted his daily “coif job”takes 90 minutes. After his shower, he lets his hair fall forward. “The secret is air drying, which gives it extra body.” (Good grief!) Then Trump shapes his mane into what looks, to me, like a cotton candy helmet. As “Family Guy's” Seth MacFarlane joked, “Trump is 70 and has hair like Dennis the Menace.”
Yet Trump insists he's a “tough guy.” Retiring NYPD Police Commissioner, Bill Bratton, disagrees. “I'll bet Trump has never taken a punch to the face.” (If needed, I'd volunteer.)
There's only 58 days left until the election. If Trump wins, as my late mother used to say, “Nothing's the end of the world.” (Actually, this might.) One thing, if Trump does become Commander in Chief, I don't think the taxpayers should foot the bill for his bobby pins.
Jack is at facebook.com/jackneworth, twitter.com/jackneworth and jnsmdp@aol.com.
