This is an oldie but a goodie, a reprint from 2017 still rings true on Mother’s Day weekend.
If you’re reading this, you have a mother. Maybe she’s a biological mother, maybe she’s a mother figure who picked up the slack when your biological mom was working, sick or unavailable. Maybe you have a mother in your life by choice and not by birth.
No matter who your mother is, take a moment, buy a card, order some chocolate and call her to let her know how much she means to you. I know it’s a Hallmark Holiday – but do it anyways. You’ll be glad you did.
We live in a country that reveres mothers for all they do for their children. We honor the sacrifices and hold up their accomplishments in order to thank them for all they have done to make children into fully functioning contributors to society.
Motherhood is at once considered the highest calling a woman can have, and simultaneously undervalued when it comes to the respect that we give to ‘stay at home moms’ in our society. For a role that is so central to the advancement of our society we often give little thought and less care to what the mothers of the world are actually doing.
We have changed a great deal from the days of Barbara Billingsley playing Mrs. Cleaver on TV. We went through the years of the 70’s and 80 when the refrain that a woman could have it all, be a shark in the office, a perfect mother and “never never let him forget he’s a man.”
I know many women in my age cohort who are feeling like there is just too much to do, and too little time to do it all in. The idea that one could have it all was sold with the promise of equality for all. I’m sure it’s happened for some women, but in general it’s darned near impossible to have it all, but we should honor those who are trying. Their efforts should not fall on deaf ears.
Today’s mothers are busy trying to get kids from school to play dates, to tutors and counselors, and let’s not forget the endless sports classes and extracurriculars that demand time and chauffeuring. They do this all while managing a career, and for many of them are doing it without the assistance of partner in the form of a husband or boyfriend.
If your mother was like mine, she worked long hours, doing work she hated, to provide a home and put me through college. She devoted hours to my education as a young boy with flashcards, and vocabulary lists. I have no idea how many books she read to me. All of this she did without a college degree, but a dogged determination to provide and give me opportunities that she was denied.
My mother passed away many years ago, it was the hardest day of my life. It’s the day I became an adult – an orphan if you will. For most of us that is true. So long as our mothers are alive we are their babies, and when they die we pass into that horrible state called adult. It’s not fun. Life is a one way trip and if you have the opportunity to say Thank You to your mother – take it now.
Sunday the restaurants will be full of families who are taking mom out, and you should do that if you can. But you should also celebrate in a more personal, more loving, more honest, more intimate way if you can. Tell your mother you love her and why. Tell her you are aware of the sacrifices she made for you. Tell her you are sorry for your teenage years – you should be.
Happy Mother’s Day to the mothers in the world, whether they are the biological or the chosen, they’ve meant something to you, so tell them that this weekend.
David Pisarra is a Los Angeles Divorce and Child Custody Lawyer specializing in Father’s and Men’s Rights with the Santa Monica firm of Pisarra & Grist. He welcomes your questions and comments. He can be reached at dpisarra@pisarra.com or 310/664-9969. You can follow him on Twitter @davidpisarra
