Donald Trump is eagerly searching for a VP candidate. Apparently, among the “finalists” is Sarah Palin! I wonder if, eight years later, she finally knows what newspapers she reads.
Ben Carson led the VP search and reportedly turned over the list to The Donald. It's a little ironic because, on the campaign trail, Trump ruthlessly chastised Carson.
In his autobiography, “Gifted Hands,” Carson described his teenage anger as “pathological.” At numerous rallies, Trump gleefully told his followers, “Pathological means you don't get over it folks, just like child molesters.” For good measure, Trump added, “By the way, he's just a so-so doctor.” (A classic narcissist, Trump is apparently an expert on neurosurgery.)
For Trump's VP nominee, Carson should have considered John Miller, an alleged Trump publicist. In 1991, Miller gave People magazine an amazing phone interview, which is unintentionally hilarious.
In the recording, Miller knows every nuance of Trump and boastfully expresses himself in language identical to The Donald's. (Trump often says, “I have the best words,” which actually sounds like Dustin Hoffman's Raymond in “Rainman.”)
Buffoonishly, Miller explains to People the details of The Donald's on again, off again relationship with Marla Maples. He brags that, among many others, Madonna wanted to date Trump and adds that his boss is “starting to do tremendously well financially.” His cadence, tone and braggadocio are identical to Trump's. The whole thing is like an SNL skit.
In a subsequent court proceeding, Trump admitted that “on occasion” he had pretended to be other people publicizing himself. (Talk about attention starved.) Inexplicably, however, Trump now denies that he was ever John Miller. I suppose it's just our lying eyes, or in this case, our lying ears.
Let's examine some of Trump's stream of lies, going back to “John McCain is no war hero.” Let's not forget that during Vietnam, Trump avoided military service via student deferments and a failed physical. (Due to a painful bone spur, though when asked in 2015 Trump couldn't remember which foot!)
Though McCain was tortured by his Vietnamese captors for years while Trump was partying, The Donald said publicly, “I prefer my heroes not captured.” But now he claims he said, “John McCain is a war hero.” It's as though we didn't hear his sarcasm nor see that repulsive “give me a break” facial expression.
Then there's Trump's lie about Carly Fiorina. In a Rolling Stone interview, the shockingly shallow Trump is quoted, “Can you imagine anybody voting for that face?” Absurdly, later he said he meant her “persona.” Trump insists he “cherishes women,” overlooking his misogynistic statement, “It's very difficult for a flat-chested woman to be a 10.”
Last November Trump made the unsubstantiated claim that during 9/11 he had witnessed, “Thousands of Muslims in New Jersey celebrating the attacks.” A reputable New York Times reporter, Serge Kovaleski disputed Trump's story. (Kovaleski suffers from arthrogryposis, a condition that severely affects the movement of joints in his right arm and hand.)
In Trump's twisted psyche, he has to “get even.” So, at a South Carolina rally, Trump ridiculed Kovaleski's disability by waving his arms around with his hands at an odd angle. How low is a person who mocks the disabled? Given Trump's vengeful nature, picture the Cuban Missile Crisis, only instead of JFK between us and nuclear war, it's Trump!
Many years ago, Trump said he'd release his tax returns “When Obama releases his birth certificate!” Obama did in 2011. Trump hasn't. His VP candidates, however, were required to submit theirs. Go figure.
During his pathetic birther campaign, Trump boasted that he sent private detectives to Hawaii to investigate Obama, claiming, “What they found is amazing!” He never showed us the results, clearly because it was all a con job. (Don the Con.)
Trump says that as president he'd talk to North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. Why not? They're both authoritarians and both have really weird hair. Actually, Trump loves dictators. He quotes Mussolini and says of tyrannical Putin, “At least he's a strong leader.” Even more disturbing, Ivana Trump says The Donald used to keep a book of Hitler's speeches by his bed for nighttime reading.
Not happy unless he's unhappy, Trump's latest vendetta is aimed at UK Prime Minister, David Cameron, for criticizing his Muslim ban. (Jon Stewart labels Trump a “Man/Baby,” having the body of a man but the temperament of a spoiled child.) So in addition to encouraging violence and stirring hate, add Trump's insulting our closest ally to his insulting Mexicans, Muslims, “the blacks,” vets who were captured, and women.
Lastly, two items from the category “only in America.” One, at auction some sicko paid $130,000 for the gun George Zimmerman used to kill Trayvon Martin. And two, a national poll released by Fox News Wednesday has Trump leading Hillary 45 percent to 42 percent. My response: Heaven help us.
Jack is at facebook.com/jackneworth, twitter.com/jackneworth and jnsmdp@aol.com.
