ANSWER: The first approach is to rule out the obvious, I call it the “Big 7.” They are hungry, thirsty, dirty, wet, hot, cold, gassy. Once you've ruled those out, you can put yourself in true nurture mode to ask yourself some questions, try some things and help calm that baby. Does the baby need motion? Try swinging, rocking, or driving the car — desperate parents do desperate things. Does the baby need quiet? Try a calmer location and lack of stimulation. Does the baby need to be held or put down?
Try both, but give each enough time to get an accurate indication of the baby’s cues. Get the picture? Keep trying to put yourself in touch with the infant’s needs. It may just be fatigue which you’ll know when the baby falls asleep in the middle of it. Above all, if you find yourself losing patience or getting frustrated, seek help or give yourself a time out, with the baby in a safe environment, of course. Parents get fussy, too.
MAMA TIP: Fussy baby? Frustrated parent? Go outside. Go for a walk, preferably holding your baby, or carrying him close to you in a sling or other carrier. My daughter is 2 years old now and we still head outdoors when she gets fussy or bored, or when I get frustrated and start losing my patience. It’s amazing what a change of scenery, a walk and some fresh air can do for both of you. Even in the evening when I am exhausted, we still take a short walk sometimes before bed. I always feel better and she always calms down. And sometimes she even falls asleep. (Dorie Meek is the director of the “Infant and Family Support Program,” provided by Saint John's Health Center in partnership with the Santa Monica-Malibu Unified School District. Submit your questions to “Dear Dorie” at, or call (310) 452-6132; fax (310) 452-6392.)
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on September 28, 2004. Read the original PDF.