During Hurricane Ian, I inadvertently saw Tucker Carlson on Fox say, “You hate to hype hurricanes because everyone’s kinda on to that scam.” I immediately turned off the TV and went back to folding my laundry.
Tucker knows “scam” is a MAGA trigger word like “fake” or “hoax.” I don’t doubt many QAnon followers believe Ian was connected to the “deep state” including “Madam Maga,” Marjorie Taylor Greene. (Sadly, MGT’s husband filed for divorce but there’s no truth that the reason he gave was, “Because I married Marjorie Taylor Greene!”)
QAnon originated in 2017 by an anonymous individual known as “Q” who either lives in a heavily guarded compound in the Philippines or in his mother’s basement in Pacoima. He adamantly predicts JFK Jr. will run as the VP in 2024 with a guy whose last name rhymes with rump.
Tucker’s 5 million viewers, Sean Hannity’s 3 million and Alex Jones’ 2.43 million, not counting his defamation court appearances, are the leaders of the Denier Delegation. But my fave is Jim Inhofe, the retiring GOP Senator from Oklahoma.
In 2015, Inhofe brought a snowball to the Senate floor to prove that climate change science was bogus. That “logic” is exactly that of the current GOP Georgia Senate candidate Hershel Walker who asked, “If man descended from the apes, how come there are still apes?”
It’s clear, however pro-life proponent Hershel paid for an ex-wife’s abortion. (And also a get well card.) Hershel had one child with four different women and was an absent father to each kid. Hershel has admitted to twelve different personalities but it’s unclear which signed the abortion check.
Meanwhile, Mehmet Oz lives in New Jersey but is running for the U.S. Senate in Pennsylvania. He says he has two houses but actually has ten. (Hershel doesn’t know how many kids and Mehmet doesn’t know how many houses.)
Among the original pioneers of the Deleterious Deniers were those who insisted the moon landing in 1969 was staged. They have videos on their phones “proving” the whole thing was less believable then than O.J.’s still looking for Nicole and Ron’s real killers now. (Constantly on golf courses, obviously The Juice thinks the murderer was a caddy.)
Others are convinced that, in 1993, Bill and Hillary Clinton murdered lawyer Vince Foster because he “knew too much,” But Foster’s autopsy confirmed he had shot himself with the .38 caliber gun found at the scene. I’m just wondering when they sneaked out of the White House were Bill and Hill wearing ski masks?
In 2017 Hillary was accused of running a child sex ring in Washington, D.C. To exact revenge, Edgar Madison Welch fired a rifle into the Ping Pong Pizzeria. Thankfully no one was hurt and Madison was sentenced to prison.
In 2012, Todd Aiken GOP Missouri Senate candidate, denied rape could cause pregnancy. “Doctors tell me, if it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to shut the whole thing down.” He lost but today he’d might be presidential material.
One of Holocaust Deniers’ heroes is Joseph Goebbels, Hitler’s Propaganda Minister and creator of the “Big Lie.” His theory was the bigger the lie and the more often repeated, the more it would be believed by the misinformed masses. Sound familiar?
Hitler loved the Big Lie, as does that guy whose last name also rhymes with “dump,” and “schlump.” Whereas Hitler hated Jews, gypsies, homosexuals, communists, and, reportedly, gefilte fish, Dump’s hate list is perfectly simple: Anyone who doesn’t agree with him 1000%!
Election Deniers are so dangerous they almost caused a coup and the hanging of Mike Pence. Schlump literally said, “Maybe he deserved it.” Schlump’s latest target is Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell who merely delivered him three conservative Supreme Court Justices.
Schlump also said, “McConnell has a death wish for compromising with Democrats!” (My fingers are crossed that Edgar Welch is still locked up.) Schlump’s vile racism evidenced itself again when he called McConnell’s wife, Elaine Chao, “A China loving Coco Chow.”
At another rally Schlump either had a Freudian slip or a brain f*rt when he yelled, “We have to keep our country gay!” That must have been news to Rue Paul. But remember Schlump’s bizarre comment about Kim Jong-un, “And then we fell in love!”
And what about his dancing at rallies to the Village People’s “YMCA?” Assuming you can call that dancing. (I call it worse than Elaine’s from “Seinfeld.”)
I sigh in despair because we didn’t elect Al Gore in 2000 or even praise enough his prescient documentary “An Inconvenient Truth.” And now the planet and democracy are in terrifying jeopardy. At infinitesimal comfort, at least my clothes are finally hanging neatly in my closet.