Court: The late George Carlin is shocked by Susan Collins and Brett Kavanaugh. Courtesy photo

It’s been seven days since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and six since they struck down a 1913 New York law restricting carrying concealed firearms, a ruling that will likely lead to more guns on the streets. The 2nd Amendment decision makes it “free to carry” guns whereas, for over half the states, the Roe ruling will “force women to carry” babies.  For a  considerable majority of the country the rulings reflect the bitterly divisive era of minority rule (Thus, welcome to our nightmare.)

Since it beats tears, I’ve turned to dark humor in examining certain politicians’ responses to the court’s rulings. Sarah Huckabee Sanders (whose maiden name my spell check insists is “Huckleberry”)  is Trump’s former Press Secretary and the recent victor in the Arkansas GOP gubernatorial primary. 

Sanders vowed that if elected she would “Make sure that a kid in the womb is as safe as those in a classroom.” Really? On that same day 19 children and two teachers were shot dead by a gunman in Uvalde, Texas. (In 2022 so far there have been 27 school shootings and 250 mass shootings.)

Meanwhile in Texas, GOP Governor Greg Abbott’s response to his state’s abortion ban, which has no exemptions for rape or incest, was mind-boggling. When questioned by a reporter why a 12year-old girl should be forced to give birth to a baby after having been raped by her father,  Abbott responded,  “Our number one goal is to eliminate all rapes in Texas.” Really? #2.  

Abbott forgot to mention  that with approximately 14,000 a year,  Texas has the most forcible rapes in the country. Keep in mind the rapist father may be entitled to visitation rights of the child, even after he gets out of prison. (#sick.)

While Trump, the only president in history to lose the popular vote twice and be impeached twice, managed to appoint three Supreme Court justices who overturned Roe, we must mention Susan Collins. She’s the senior Senator from Maine, having held office since 1997.

Collins has long been praised as a moderate Republican but she’s clearly not the best judge of character. I’m referring to her votes in 2017 and 2018 to confirm Supreme Court Justices Neil Gorsuch and Brett (“I love beer”) Kavanaugh.

Collins pointed to “Their respect for precedent” but since both voted to overturn Roe and a half-century of precedent, that respect just flew out the window. Collins now says “they betrayed” her.

However Collins poor ability to judge character shockingly reappeared when she voted to acquit Trump in his first impeachment trial. With inexplicable naivete,  she said, “Surely President Trump has learned his lesson.” (Though I wish I were, I couldn’t make this stuff up, folks.)    

The overturning of Roe is a huge victory for the pro-life movement. In 1996, one of my all-time comedy heroes,  George Carlin, R.I.P.,  did a sketch on that subject which, after last Friday, is even more relevant today.

Carlin began, “Pro-lifers are all in favor of the unborn and will do anything for the unborn but once you’re born, you’re on your own. “Pro-lifers are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don’t want to hear from you.  No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you’re preborn, you’re fine; if you’re preschool, you’re f**ked.”

And Carlin continued, “Pro-Lifers don’t give a sh*t about you until you reach “military age”. Then you’re just fine. They want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. These people aren’t pro-life, they’re killing doctors!  They’re not pro-life, they’re anti-woman!”

I’d be remiss if I don’t mention Tuesday’s January 6th hearings with bombshell testimony from Cassidy Hutchinson, a  former White House aide and assistant to Trump Chief of Staff, Mark Meadows. Her testimony was perhaps the most shocking in the history of Congressional hearings, or at least since Watergate.

And yet there was one amusing revelation. In one of his tantrums apparently Trump threw his lunch against the wall of the White House dining room leaving a ketchup mess. However, New Yorker Magazine satirist Andy Borowitz wrote Trump claimed, “It wouldn’t have hit the wall if Rudy hadn’t ducked.”

Among ominous testimony, we were told Trump knew the mob were armed but insisted they be able to keep their weapons, reportedly saying, “They aren’t here to hurt me.”  The “mad King”Trump was so desperate to join the mob in their march to the Capitol he tried wrestling control of the steering wheel of the presidential SUV. He even grabbed Robert Engel of his Secret Service detail by the clavicle shouting, “I’m the fu**ing president!”

I wonder if Senator Collins still believes, “Surely President Trump has learned his lesson.”

Go to YouTube : “Choir! Patti Smith People Have the Power.” “George Carlin’s American Dream” is on HBO. Jack isn’t on anywhere but can be reached at: