In two days, with an unexpected “Santa Monica surprise”, there will be the biggest sporting event in the world, the Super Bowl. Soccer fans would disagree citing the record 1.1 billion people who watched the 2018 World Cup Final, whereas the 2018 Super Bowl had a “measly” 103 million viewers.
And yet a 30-second commercial on Super Bowl LV costs $5.6 million or $186,666 per second. Since Donald Trump raised $250 million after the 2020 election on a lie the vote count was fraudulent, maybe he’ll spring for “Stop the Steal” Super Bowl commercials in time for Tuesday’s impeachment trial.
Other than unreliable Kanye, his celebrity supporters are almost down to Kid Rock, Scott Baio and James Woods. Maybe they could add Jake Angeli, the bare-chested domestic terrorist with face paint and animal horns who was part of the MAGA mob that stormed the Capitol on January 6, killing five, or one more than Benghazi! (Turns out Jake is a “seditious snowflake” because, in jail, he refused to eat non-organic food.)
The deaths included the brutal murder of a Capitol cop, along with 140 injured cops, many from being bludgeoned with metal poles attached to the American flag. (Remember when Trump called Colin Kaepernick an “S.O.B.” who disrespected the flag when he peacefully took a knee?)
For the first time ever the Super Bowl will be played at the home stadium of one of the participants, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. For L.A. Ram fans, optimistic after the recent signing of their quarterback, Sam Bradford, next year’s Super Bowl LVI, will be played at Sofi Stadium in Inglewood. Just saying.
Rumor has it, Trump’s planning a super spreader Super Bowl party at Mar-a-Lago (in “Magastan.”) because he’s a huge football fan. And by “huge” I’m not referring to his weight, although he is the most obese POTUS in 100 years. (And also holds the record for impeachments because in our 244 year history we’ve had four presidential impeachments and Trump has half of them.)
Georgia Congresswoman, Marjorie Taylor Greene, an assassin advocate and a Sandy Hook and 9/11 denier, might attend as there’s nothing like a rabid anti-Semite i.e. “Jew space lasers caused California wildfires,” to liven up a party. Go figure, she’d be instantly fired from Walmart but is the face of Republicans in Congress. (Greene’s “Jews cause wildfires” probably has Hitler spinning in his grave, “Why didn’t I think of that?!”)
After the game, reportedly, Trump was to meet with his five lawyers to plot his defense for the Senate impeachment trial which starts Tuesday. Except all five quit! I immediately assumed his lawyers, like his bankers get testy when he stiffs them.
Then I remembered Trump’s gruff lawyer, John Dowd, telling his client “No!” to his wanting an in person interview with Mueller because, “You’re a fu**ing liar!” (I can almost see Trump shrug, “Oh, that.”)
Turns out the five lawyers couldn’t stand the shame of presenting Trump’s defense to “inciting an insurrection” that “I won the election by a landslide!” Of course being a sociopath, Donald has no shame. (He’s also such a whiner instead of “Stop the Steal” how about “Stop the Squeal?”)
Steve Bannon, who always looks like he’s coming off a 5-day “bender” insisted Trump represent himself. “New Yorker Magazine”satirist Andy Borowitz suggested Donald could use the law degree he received from Trump University.
Finally, Trump hired two “top tier” attorneys. One was the prosecutor who declined to indict Bill Cosby and the other represents reputed mob figures. Unfortunately, in their Senate brief, these “top tier” lawyers wrote “Unites States.” (Reinforcing the adage “hit spell check before hit send.”)
Super Bowl LV features Tampa Bay’s quarterback, Tom Brady, 43, the greatest of all time (GOAT) against Patrick Mahomes, 25, of the defending champion Chiefs who’s revolutionizing the QB position. My disappointment with Brady is the MAGA hat that he hung in his locker, just like many white supremacists wore on the January 6 deadly insurrection. (Famed model Gisele Bündchen, Tom’s Brazilian-born wife of nearly 12 years, reportedly wasn’t thrilled with the MAGA hat either.)
As for the “Santa Monica surprise” of Super Bowl LV, at half-time Amanda Gorman, the 22-year-old poet who captivated Joe Biden’s inauguration with her magnificent poem “The Hill We Climb,” will be reading more of her verse. The surprise for me is she graduated high school at “New Roads” in Santa Monica! (Before going to Harvard where she graduated in 2020.)
Gorman’s profound poetry lifted the hopes of the thirty million viewers of Biden’s inauguration, and undoubtedly will do so for the one-hundred million who watch the Super Bowl. Other than Random House printing one million copies of her inaugural poem (foreword by Oprah!) what’s next for Amanda? I’m guessing reciting her verse at the 2022 World Cup Final seen by 1.1 billion!
To see Amanda’s inaugural poem go to YouTube and type “The Hill We Climb.” And then type “Lincoln Project Greene.”
Jack is at email@example.com.