A young Donald Trump receives lessons in deceit from Roy Cohn in 1973. Courtesy image.

By the time you read this, hopefully we’ll know more regarding the presidential election. For those who worried about our democracy these past four years, it’s a nightmare to imagine what further damage Trump could do in another term. (If there were “Trump Anonymous” meetings, I’d be there right now.)

Trump’s re-election strategy has been right out of the late Roy Cohn’s playbook of “deny, deny, deny,” “if you’re accused of wrong doing accuse your accusers of worse,” and “if you lose claim victory.” Reportedly closeted gay, Cohn, often described as a ruthless sociopath, first came to prominence in the 1950’s as demagogic Senator Joe McCarthy’s lawyer/hatchet man during the infamous “Communist witch hunt” hearings that ruined the lives and reputations of vast numbers of innocent Americans many of whom fled the country.

For his unethical practices, in 1954 the Senate Republicans (back when they valued ethics) censured McCarthy. Bitter, Joe proceeded to drink himself to death at age 49. Meanwhile middle-aged sociopath Cohn became the mentor to young sociopath Trump.

Ultimately, Cohn was disbarred and disgraced and died a lonely death from HIV/AIDS. Even on his deathbed he denied he was gay, claiming, “I just liked sleeping with men.” Of no use to him anymore, Trump didn’t once visit Cohn in the hospital. Then again, five years prior, when Donald’s older brother, Fred Jr., was in the hospital dying, Trump went to the movies.

As for the election, after voting I went to the 99-cent store at Rose and Lincoln. I always find it ironic that the 99-cent Store is next door to Whole Foods where items are so pricey, Bill Maher says the store should be renamed “Whole Paycheck.”

So there I am in the 99-Cent Store at the frozen food section when an elderly woman asked me why I was buying so much. I politely explained that, since the pandemic, I don’t shop that often so when I do I tend to stock up. But she persisted. “Are you sure you don’t own a restaurant?” Exasperated, less politely I replied I was a writer and this Q and A session was over. But it wasn’t to be.

As fate would have it, she and I crossed paths four more times in the store and she continued grilling me. For example, why was I buying two bottles of shampoo instead of one? Getting considerably annoyed, I replied, “With all due respect ma’am this is ridiculous.” “I was just curious” she said, feigning innocence rather than confessing to being a busy body.

And wouldn’t you know, when I went to check out she’s ahead of me as the checker is scanning her items. Seeing me she blurted out, “There he is now,” as it was obvious she had been telling him about me. The checker was congenial and looked like he had a sense of humor so I explained, “On my late mother, I swear this woman stopped me five times asking about why I was buying what.”

As he laughed, she didn’t deny it but came up with a line I found so amusing I couldn’t continue being mad at her. “Yes, maybe I did,” she said almost flirtatiously, “but when has a woman as attractive as I am paid this much attention to you?” A sucker for humor, I replied, “You’ve got a point there, ma’am.” (Ironically, later at home as I was crowding my groceries into the refrigerator and even needed to use the mini-frig in my bedroom, damn if I didn’t think the nosey woman, for all her faults, had been right!)

Mark Twain once observed, “Never do today what you can put off to tomorrow.” So it is I’m writing this Wednesday at midnight. With the election results that could impact the country for a generation still up in the air, U.S.A. could stand for the “United States of Anxiety.” That said, Tuesday night the picture for a majority of Americans was so grim restful sleep was just a theoretical concept.

With his family surrounding him, Trump declared he’d won the election. Chris Christie, fresh off six days in the I.C.U from Covid likely contracted while prepping Trump for the second debate where no one in the room was wearing masks, and Rick Santorum, both normally “Toadies for Trump” criticized him harshly.

Though his path is narrow, if Trump wins (biting my tongue) he’ll owe it to Roy Cohn’s ghost. Whereas if he loses Arizona and thus the election, given Cindy McCain’s support for Biden, he’ll owe it to John McCain’s.

If Trump is ultimately escorted out of the White House, (fingers crossed which would explain any typos) I look forward to writing about less dystopian and more uplifting subjects. For example, how soon will Melania dump Donald? (Oops. Sorry about that.)

For a laugh, go to YouTube and type “Donald Trump’s 50 most ridiculous excuses.” Jack is at: jackdailypress@aol.com.