The Art of the Schlemiel

In Yiddish “schlemiel” refers to an awkward, unintelligent  and unlucky person for whom things never turn our right.  An example might be Donald Trump walking up the stairs to  Force 1 and having toilet paper stuck to his shoe.

Normally, the moment a POTUS left the bathroom the Secret Service, or his entourage would point out the telltale tissue.  Unless those observing took great delight that Trump looked like a schlemiel.

Schlemiels aren’t necessarily intellectuals. Coincidentally, Trump never goes to plays, or operas or art exhibits. What he loves most in life, other than Twitter, are buckets of KFC, Fox TV and shouting at his rallies.  He also loves golf a sport in which he cheats constantly;  he loves having beautiful wives on whom he constantly cheats. (Often with the next Mrs. Trump or Stormy Daniels.)

Meanwhile, the U.S. government is coming to the end of the second week of a  shutdown over Trump’s “big, beautiful, tall concrete border wall” that Trump swore a hundred times Mexico would pay for.   As a result, 800,000 Americans aren’t being paid or are furloughed.  Congress, however,  still get their full salaries and the taxpayers just paid for security and tents, etc, for Trump’s “for profit” New Year’s eve party at Mar-a-Lago. (Tickets were $1000, up from last year’s $750.)

On  Wednesday, Trump purportedly tried to find a shutdown compromise. (Though it’s so obvious he loves it.)  First, he held a televised cabinet meeting  during which Trump acknowledged that he was unpopular in Europe but said he could run and win any office there but he didn’t want to. Numerous bewildered cabinet members seemed to be looking around for an eject button.

Inexplicably, on the table was a huge movie poster of Trump with the words “Sanctions are Coming” a take off  of “Game of Thrones. With the new Democratic House investigations of Trump imminent, I’ve done my version now on the SMDP website. It features Trump’s photo and the words “Tantrums are Coming.” (In 2006,  Trump photo-shopped his face on the cover of Time Magazine, had it framed, and hung in his office as if it were real. (Can you say “cuckoo?”)

In two other cringe worthy cabinet meeting moments, Trump also praised the Soviet Union’s ill-fated 1979 invasion of Afghanistan and went on to say, “I think I would have made a great general but who knows.” (Damn those pesky bone spurs that prevented your rise to general in the military.)

Later,  Trump met with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer again.  On December 11th,  the whole world heard Trump clearly say, “I’m proud to shut down the government,” telling Schumer “And I won’t blame the Democrats.””  Surprise, surprise, Trump blames the Democrats. How does he lie so blatantly?  Does he not remember or not care? (Then again, the same could be asked about the toilet paper.)

Schumer suggested they agree to the 6 budgets both the House and Senate have voted for and the Homeland Security budget, which would have any border wall funding, would be passed temporarily to re-open the government.  With a straight orange face, Trump reportedly said “If I do that, I would look foolish.” (As if he hasn’t for 2 painfully long years years.)

Foolish, or maybe pathetic, Trump recently had a TV commercial airing suggesting  Americans phone the White House to thank Trump for what he’s done for America. If I were to call I would focus more on what he’s done TO America.

All that aside, I may have a border wall solution.  Remember when Trump actually thought that the stealth F-35 fighter planes were so high tech they were actually invisible to the human eye? So, what I’m suggesting is a “stealth border wall.”

Trump has long ago abandoned his concrete wall.  Now he’s talking about “steel slats.”  He even suggested the wall be “see-through” so Border Agents can view what’s on the other side.  So we fake funding to re-open the government, and tell Trump the new wall is F-35 invisible. He could brag to his base that he won the border battle “bigly” and if and when he ever visited the wall, he could marvel at technology that makes it invisible. (Assuming no toilet paper is stuck to shoe.)

In 1987, journalist Tony Schwartz wrote Trump’s best-selling memoir, The Art of the Deal. He now regrets it made Trump a household name.  “But Trump didn’t write a word, “Schwartz says. “I’m not sure he even read it.” (Since 2016, Schwartz has donated $200,000 in royalties from the book to progressive causes.)

In The Art of the Deal, Trump brags that he’s the world’s best negotiator. Really? In January, 2018, the Democrats offered $20 billion for Trump’s wall in return for DACA support.  Some negotiator, going from $20 billion to begging for $5 billion.  What a schlemiel!

 

Jack is at: facebook.com/jackneworth, twitter.com/jackneworth and jackdailypress@aol.com

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1 Comment

  1. Greatest Deal Maker Pulls the Plug Again ….
    During his talk with Chuck and Nancy, Trump said he is proud to shut down the government and would gladly take the mantel and responsibility for shutting down the government over the funding of his wall for $5 billion. Do you remember the conversation? Nancy told Trump that he didn’t have the votes from the House and Senate to get funding for his wall. Trump shot back with YES I DO.
    Use the following link at about 8 minutes in to hear how Nancy explained to Donald how the HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES really works!!!!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-guwyA8wxVQ
    https://apnews.com/b03a8638fcae4d64ad73bf96a46f0f28.
    Trump is looking at his agency leaders to find money for his wall ….. opps the budget is set. He can’t do, that which he did in private industry…Rob Peter to Pay Paul….He will need congress to re-appropriate the moneys.
    Trump continues with being a WHINER, TROLLER, BULLY, DISTORTER, and DISTASTER!!!
    Nancy, the truly Greatest Negotiator and Deal maker strikes again!!!!
    By the way, Trump has a very short memory regarding who won the majority of the POPULAR VOTE!!!! HILLARY CLINNTON and even better “WE THE MAJOITY OF THE PEOPLE”!!!
    I mention the foregoing because Trump and his weak kneed Republicans, that refuse to call out Trump’s outrageous leadership, keep saying the majority of the people voted for his wall. NOT TRUE!!! As you read above the majority voted against Trump’s promised campaign wall!!!!
    By the way how will Trump’s MEDICORE, SECOND-RATE, COMMON PLACE wall protect us from the nuclear bombs as they fly over his MEDICORE, SECOND-RATE, COMMON PLACE wall as they rain down from IRAN, NORTH KOREA, RUSSIA AND CHINA?
    Mr. SO-CALLED-PRESIDENT you have a bigger problem than your imaginary enemies north and south of our borders!!!
    Perhaps a reminder to DTPOTUS of the Oath of office might be indispensable….
    “I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”
    Maybe add a reminder of the PREAMBLE TO THE UNITED ATATES CONSTITUTION….
    “We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”
    Finally, a Preamble Meaning from the originators: The Constitution as a whole represented an agreement between the 13 member states on the powers of government and the rights of individual citizens. The preamble provides an introduction to a series of articles laying out how the country would be governed. The Constitution and its preamble went through several drafts before a final version was agreed, and since it became law in 1788 it has been amended many times, although the wording of the preamble has not changed.
    Nancy, the truly Greatest Negotiator and Deal maker strikes again!!!!
    https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C2MKDC_enUS774US827&ei=KJ4VXMS4BpvK0PEP9eWA8A8&q=chuck++and+nqncy+qnd+trup+meeting&oq=chuck++and+nqncy+qnd+trup+meeting&gs_l=psy-ab.3…34569.47069..47185…0.0..0.173.3373.16j17……0….1..gws-wiz…….0j35i39j0i131j0i131i67j0i67j33i160j0i13j0i13i30j33i10i299j33i10i160.A7vMXT6MjqM
    https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiI0ZK-gavfAhWmslQKHR2TAdQQqUMwAHoECAAQBQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.baltimoresun.com%2Fnews%2Fopinion%2Foped%2Fbs-ed-op-1218-witcover-pelosi-20181217-story.html&usg=AOvVaw2vUBvsFuMLUtZOmUtAqcFB
    gapsm1234@gmail.com

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