During the 5th century, Saint Augustine, a revered Christian theologian and philosopher, once said, “A lie disturbs the universe.”  It’s safe to say if Auggie were alive today, he’d be so disturbed he couldn’t walk straight. (As so many of us are.)

If he’d been around, he’d have likely rolled his eyes when Nixon said, “I’m not a crook.” He might have gasped when Bill Clinton said, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”  And he’d likely have gotten nauseous when O.J. Simpson said, “I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to find the real killers.”

But perhaps no one in history could have tested Auggie’s devotion to truth more than Donald Trump. It’s ironic that our first POTUS, Washington, who as far as we know didn’t use any aliases,  reportedly said, “I can not tell a lie,” Meanwhile our 45th POTUS, who’s used at least three aliases, might as well say, “I can not tell the truth.” (Proving Darwin was wrong.)

If Auggie only followed Trump’s twitter feed. For example, consider Trump’s repeating over and over on the campaign trail, “I’ll release my tax returns after the audit.” If Auggie spoke in modern parlance, he might have said, “That dude just makes sh*t up!

A common problem for congenital liars is they often forget they’re supposed to innocent. Take O.J. and his feud with the Goldman’s.  If Simpson had been innocent, instead of attacking Fred Goldman, he’d likely have said, “Your son died trying to protect the mother of my children and to me he’s a hero.” That clearly didn’t dawn on O.J.

Or let’s consider Trump’s comments about whether Michael (“5th Amendment”) Cohen will “flip.”  What Trump (aka David Denison)  should say is, “I didn’t do anything illegal, so there’s nothing to flip.”

Most of Trump’s legal advisers desperately don’t want him to interview with Robert Mueller. They’re worried about a “perjury trap.” What they’re basically admitting is that Trump is essentially incapable of telling the truth. It’s not a trap, it’s Trump.

In 2016, Ted Cruz said, “Trump is a pathological liar.” Chris Christie said, “Trump is temperamentally unfit to be president.”  Marco Rubio said Trump is “a con artist” and Rick Perry said Trump was “a cancer on conservatism and a barking carnival act.” Now they love the guy. Go figure.

Speaking of universes, Trump lives in his own.  Listen to the 1984 phone call to a Forbes Magazine reporter where Trump pretends to be PR executive “John Barron.” (Alias #1 or #2?)  Amateurishly trying to alter his voice, it’s clearly the classic Trump con though he denies it’s him. Duh.

Let’s not forget that Trump has denied the “Access Hollywood” tape wasn’t his voice as he denies affairs with Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal. Trump’s mentor, the remarkably evil Roy Cohn, taught his pupil well, “When in doubt, deny, deny, deny.”

Amazingly, “Barron” persuaded Forbes into listing Trump’s worth at $400 million, when  it was likely 1/20th  of that. With his fake Forbes Top 400 ranking Trump obtained mega-millions in bank loans, many of which he defaulted on.

Eventually American banks stopped lending to Trump. (They tend to get testy when you don’t pay them back.) This led to Trump turning to Russian financing, which led to Russian interference in the 2016 election, which led to Robert Mueller, which hopefully leads to prison. (A guy can dream, can’t he?)

Alarmingly, often Trump lies when he doesn’t have to. In the infamous chat with James Comey, Trump insisted he hadn’t spent the night in Russia during the Miss Universe pageant in 2013. It’s since been thoroughly proven he spent at least one night, maybe two. “Do I look like the type of man who needs hookers?” he asked. (Given Stormy and Karen, uh, yes!)

Concerned even if there was a 1% chance Melania believed it, Trump asked Comey to investigate the salacious “kinky sex” rumor.. Once again, he forgets he’s “innocent” If he wasn’t with two hookers in Moscow what would there be to investigate? What Trump was actually instructing Comey to do was to find out how close the truth was to being revealed. (Hopefully, very.)

Trump’s lying is contagious among his cabinet. Carson, Pruitt, Mnuchin have lied about spending taxpayer funds. Mick Mulvaney, rumored to be the next Chief of Staff, admitted he only talked to lobbyists who gave him money. Instead of draining the swamp, it’s Trump and the Swamp Creatures.

Even the White House doctor, Ronny Jackson, who, amid scandal,  withdrew his name as head of the V.A., lied. He said, “The President weighs 239.”  (Please! Have you seen him in tennis shorts?)

French philosopher Rene Descartes once opined, “I think, therefore I am.” For Donald Trump it appears to be, “I lie, therefore I am.”


To hear Trump as John Barron click here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5640775/Donald-Trump-lied-wealth-make-Forbes-rich-list-reporter-claims.html  Jack, just as Jack,  is at jackdailypress@aol.com.