During his first 406 days in office, Donald Trump has told over 2,000 lies or misleading statements. (Frankly, that figure seems low.) This doesn’t include the 2016 campaign during which Trump suggested Ted Cruz’ father helped Oswald kill JFK and compared Dr. Ben Carson’s youthful anger “pathology” to that of a child molester. Trump talking about other people’s “pathology” is rich.

Some of Trump’s endless lies include: “I hire the best people.” Really? Like Michael Flynn, Paul Manafort and now five in his administration who are convicted felons, one pleading guilty to “conspiracy against the United States.”

And 29-year-old completely unqualified Communications Director, Hope Hicks, testified she lied for Trump and resigned the next day. And Jared Kushner, also with no experience and now downgraded security clearance, reportedly hustling $500 million in real estate loans after the lenders visited the White House! (Can you say “grifter?”)

Another whopper, “I have no business interests in Russia.” This while his attorney, Michael Cohen, was negotiating for a Trump Tower in Moscow. Or, “The tax bill will hurt me, folks,” when Trump will likely save $30 million. But the biggest and most offensive lie was this past Monday.

With widespread grieving in Parkland, Florida, still ongoing, Trump, like he’s Rambo, inexplicably told a group of Governors, “I would have run into the building, even without a weapon.” This, from a 71-year-old obese man who’s admittedly afraid of sharks, germs, stairs, having his food poisoned, the sight of blood and wind blowing his weird hairdo.

Trump visited a massacre survivor and, with Melania, smiled broadly posing for a photo alongside her hospital bed. Shamelessly, however, Trump is using the photo in a fundraising effort for 2020. (I’m counting on Bob Mueller that Trump won’t be in office in 2020.)

Trump’s fear of blood is so great that he once turned away from what he thought was a dying man at a charity event at one of his hotels. On the Howard Stern Show in 2008 Trump described the incident. “An 80-year-old man fell off the stage, a guy that a lot of people didn’t like.” (What does that have to do with anything?) “So what happens is, this guy hits his head, and I thought he died. And you know what I did? I said, ‘Oh my God, that’s disgusting,’ and I turned away.”

Trump saying he’d run into that high school is beyond ludicrous. Actually, imagining Trump running anywhere is ludicrous. I’m reminded of a G8 conference where all the other leaders were walking briskly as a bloated Donald Trump rode in a golf cart.

And to believe for a second Trump would jeopardize himself for children he doesn’t know is laughable. I recall the video of Trump walking up the stairs of Air Force One during a rain and windstorm. He had a huge umbrella and was clearly worried that his hair would get mussed.

Seconds later we see Barron coming up the stairs. Trump was more concerned with protecting his hair than his 10-year-old son! It gets worse. Then Melania comes up as Trump is not the least bit concerned she’s also getting wet. Makes me wonder what the over/under is on how soon after he gets impeached will she divorce him.

Assuming that Trump could somehow get his lard butt to actually run, there are the bone spurs that accounted for one of his five deferments during the Vietnam era. Painful as they supposedly were, when asked by a reporter on which foot did he have the spurs, Trump said with a straight face, “I don’t remember.” Again the Howard Stern Show Trump described his personal Vietnam, “Was just avoiding sexually transmitted diseases.” And Trump had the gall to say John McCain wasn’t a war hero.

In his infamous Inaugural Address, Trump said, “American carnage stops now.” In the first forty-six days of 2018, there were seventeen school shootings. Trump’s idiotic answer is to arm teachers. (Following the Pulse Nightclub massacre Trump said if the patrons, dancing and likely inebriated, had been armed, “Bullets would have been flying in both directions.” as if that were an answer.)

In 2016, at a pro-gun campaign rally in Franklin, Tennessee, Trump proudly revealed that he had a concealed/carry license. Channeling, in his words, “the late, great Charles Bronson” in Death Wish, he used his fingers to simulate holding a gun. And then he made gunshot noises like we did when we were kids playing cowboys and Indians. As if a then 70-year-old man pretending to shoot an imaginary gun isn’t weird enough, the noises he made were “bing, boink, bing.”

Let’s not forget this Rambo/Bronson wannabe, who thinks he’s a tough guy uses hairspray and bobby pins. Like all bullies, he’s essentially a coward. Clearly, as long as he’s president this country is in serious trouble. Did I mention I’m counting on Bob Mueller?

Jack is at facebook.com/jackneworth, twitter.com/jackneworth, and jackdailypress@aol.com