Laughing Matters

The Predator Has No Clothes

In 1837, Danish author Hans Christian Andersen published “The Emperor’s New Clothes.

(Commonly known as “The Emperor Has No Clothes.”) Translated into 100 languages, the famed fable brought joy to children world-wide. The story’s villain is a narcissistic, buffoon of an emperor who insists on having the finest clothes in all the land. (Narcissistic buffoon? Sound familiar?)

Two scheming weavers promise the dim-witted emperor they will make him a suit spun from pure gold but caution it will be invisible to stupid people. Thus, the foppish emperor leads a parade wearing only his underwear.

As townspeople are silent for fear of being deemed stupid, a young child cries out, “But he isn’t wearing anything at all!”
The “underwear” reference reminds me of Judge Roy Moore, the credibly-accused pedophile who just lost Alabama’s special U.S.

Senate election despite Donald Trump’s enthusiastic endorsement. As an anonymous Republican official put it, “If you wanted to create two people to ruin our party, you couldn’t do better than Donald Trump and Roy Moore.”

A USA TODAY editorial said, “Trump isn’t fit to clean toilets.” I disagree. He IS fit to clean toilets, but with all the taco bowls and KFC buckets he consumes, I’m doubt he could bend down.

The stunning upset in Alabama is credited to African-Americans, who turned out in record numbers and women. (Especially mothers with daughters under 18, Roy Moore’s favorite dating demographic.) For his part, Moore is refusing to concede, saying, he’s “waiting on God.” I hope he’s holding his breath.

Allegedly, Moore drove his 14-year-old victim to his house in the woods before stripping to his underwear and sexually molesting her. And Trump is accused by twenty women of non-consensual kissing and grabbing genitals, which he actually bragged about doing on Access Hollywood.

If Al Franken agreed to resign isn’t it time for hearings for Trump’s accusers? On The Howard Stern show Trump once boasted how he spied backstage on semi-nude contestants in the Miss Teen USA pageant. (No wonder Trump endorsed Moore, the two share a common perversion, teenage girls!)

Trump continuously degrades the presidency by tweeting hate and vitriol.

I’m reminded of the question posed to Joe McCarthy, “Have you no sense of decency, sir?” Hopefully, Doug Jones’ Alabama election marks a return to decency.

Trump recently tweeted that U.S. Senator Kirstin Gillibrand is a “total flunky,” saying she “begged” him for a campaign contribution and “would have done anything” to get it, inferring sexual favors. (Gillibrand called for Trump to resign. If only.)

The loss to a democrat in ruby red Alabama is a major blow for the White House. This marks twice in three months that Alabamians rejected Trump-backed candidates.

First it was Luther Strange in the primary and now “Raunchy Roy.” Add the November elections in Virginia and that makes Trump a “three-time loser!”

A political rally for Moore the night before the election might have been a bad omen. In defense of her husband, Moore’s wife told a right-wing audience that her husband was NOT a racist, saying, “One of our attorneys is a Jew!”

The strange look on her face while she said “Jew” was like she drank sour milk. The audience at Morning Joe’s show, in Alabama for the election, laughed at her hysterically. (Moore infamously admitted that he was first drawn to his wife when she was 15!)

Election day also got off to an ominous start for Moore. He and his wife, as is their custom, rode their horses to the polling place. Only Moore revealed himself as an incompetent horseman.

As he pulled cruelly on the reins, it looked like the pained horse was contemplating bucking Moore to the ground. (The NY Daily News headline mocking Moore read, “Screw You and the Horse you Rode in On.”)

The Alabama election was also a monumental loss for Trump’s one-time top political strategist, Steve Bannon. He’s also accused of being anti-Semitic as divorce court documents revealed his comment, “Jews don’t know how to raise their kids.”

The day after the election, Congressman Steve King (R-NY) said of Bannon, “He looks like a disheveled drunk.” Others say he looks like he’s slept in his car.

Typically, Trump, with his historically low 32% approval ratings, blamed everyone but himself for Moore’s loss.

Meanwhile he spent Wednesday touting his immensely unpopular tax plan, which benefits the super-wealthy, gives crumbs to the middle class and adds 1 ½ trillion to the debt. And, oh yes, includes a loophole for golf course owners! Shamelessly, Paul Ryan says next on their agenda is reducing entitlements, defining “reverse Robin Hood,” robbing the poor to give to the rich.

In Andersen’s beloved fable it was an innocent child who awoke the townspeople that the horrible and hateful emperor was a complete fraud. Where is that child now, when we need him most?

Jack is at, and