Monday’s first presidential debate had some amusing moments, like when Trump criticized Hillary’s “lack of stamina.” It was ironic because, while Donald might have won the first 20 minutes, from then on you could say the gasbag ran out of gas.
Not amusing were Trump’s incessant interruptions, 25 times in the first 26 minutes! (Google “Trump interrupts Hillary video,” as it’s hilarious!) When it was Trump’s turn he often rambled. For example he said, “The hacking of the DNC wasn’t necessarily Russia. It could also be somebody sitting on their bed who weighs 400 pounds.” Say what?
Moments later he pointlessly added, “My son is 10 and he’s so good with these computers it’s unbelievable.” Trump’s incoherence was stunning, not to mention his lying. He flatly denied saying “Global warming is a Chinese hoax,” when he has tweeted exactly that dozens of times.
As Hillary spoke, Donald grimaced, sneered and fidgeted with the microphone. He also drank more water than Marco Rubio, sniffed like a coke head and practically slumped on the podium. If it was a mile race, he was gasping after 100 yards.
When Hillary asserted that Trump was in favor of the Iraq War, Donald impulsively blurted, “Wrong!” And did so three straight times. After the debate Trump blamed a faulty mic. Back in February, Trump said he didn’t know who David Duke was and blamed that on a faulty earpiece. As Bill Maher says, “Trump is whiny little bitch.”
Trump choked at the debate because he didn’t prepare. Tony Schwartz, co-author of “The Art of the Deal,” says Trump’s can’t prepare because he can’t focus. (Terrific trait for a president, huh?)
Schwartz is convinced Trump’s bluster masks deep insecurities. Think about Trump’s motto, “Hit me once, I hit back ten times harder!” Ten times harder? As the late Jonathon Winters used to say, “There’s a lot of couch time in that.”
Toward the end of the debate, Hillary highlighted Trump’s misogyny, “He calls women pigs, bimbos, slobs and dogs.” She cited when Trump shamed an 18-year-old Venezuelan Miss Universe by calling her “Miss Piggy,” and “Miss Housekeeper,” apparently because she’s a Latina.
Staring right at him, Hillary followed up, “Donald, she has a name, Alicia Machado! She’s a U.S. citizen now and she’ll definitely be voting in November.” Trump came unglued! Twice he asked angrily, “Where did you find her?!” (If in a debate he loses control, imagine what he’d be like during a missile crisis.)
As for Trump’s tax returns, Clinton noted, “The only years we know about, he paid nothing in federal taxes.” Trump leaned over the mic and uttered, “That proves I’m smart.” No, Donald it proves you’re greedy.
Clinton continued, “Donald’s obviously hiding some terrible things in his tax returns.” Perhaps it’s his dealings with Russian oligarchs? Coincidentally, at the RNC a plank to send arms to Ukraine to defend itself from Russia, was mysteriously removed. (That must have made Vlad glad.)
When asked about the controversy, Trump responded lamely, “Uh, I didn’t have anything to do with it.” Yesterday, “Newsweek’s” cover story is about Trump’s illegal business dealings with Cuba in the 1990’s. I’m sure Trump will deny that, too. I swear, if he were hooked up to a lie detector the machine would break.
During the debate, Trump’s “I’m being audited” excuse was made even more ludicrous when he said, “I’ll release my returns when Hillary releases her 33,000 emails.” Hell, he won’t even release the IRS audit letter. Given “Don the Con’s” penchant for lying, I bet there is no audit.
Hillary also noted that Trump won’t rule out using nukes in the Middle East or Europe. In fact, he has said he’d be fine if Japan, South Korea and even Saudi Arabia had nuclear weapons. Good grief!
Moments later Hillary quoted Donald who said if Iranian sailors taunt our sailors, he “would blow their ship right out of the water.” The way he talks about blowing up boats, Trump sounds like a 5-year-old playing “battleship.”
Of late, Trump advocates that China, a nuclear power, should invade N. Korea, another nuclear power. (What could go wrong, other than a nuclear winter?) Kidding aside, it’s terrifying to imagine Donald Trump as president.
The morning after the debate, Trump went on “Fox and Friends” and resumed attacking Alicia Machado. Instead of a simple apology (he’s incapable) he vengefully claimed, “She gained a massive amount of weight.”
Now Rush Limbaugh is calling Machado “Miss Piggy.” Classic. Two obese old men calling an actual Miss Universe “Miss Piggy.” Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Trump campaign.
Jack is at facebook.com/jackneworth, twitter.com/jackneworth and firstname.lastname@example.org.