Forgive the technical terminology but my timing this week sucks. Due to my deadline, the much-anticipated first GOP Presidential debate hasn’t yet happened, but when you read this you’ll likely have seen it. Somehow Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus didn’t consult with me about the debate schedule. (Reince Priebus sounds like a medical condition easily treated if you catch it early.)

Technically, there were two debates yesterday. The “pre-prime-time” one was for the seven candidates who didn’t make the cut. (As Donald Trump might refer to them,

“the losers.”) Their debate was affectionately referred to as the “JV” or the “Kid’s Table.” The bad news is those candidates will likely be seen as irrelevant. The good news is rumor has it they were served cookies and punch.

Imagine, seventeen seemingly intelligent, successful people seeking a job that ages you in dog years, e.g. every year in office you look seven years older. Not only were seventeen candidates a modern record, but the hoopla about Trump has caused a stir not seen since Teddy Roosevelt ran on the Bull Moose ticket. (Actually, Trump reminds me of a bull moose, albeit one with really weird hair.)

There’s no question, however, the star attraction of the main debate was Donald Trump whose meteoric rise has political pundits pontificating. Keep in mind, four years ago Herman Cain was more popular than the Donald is now. That is, until the former Godfather Pizza CEO couldn’t answer a simple question about Libya. As he toyed with his tie, he sheepishly explained the brain freeze, “I got all this stuff twirling around in my head.”

And Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann was also the darling of the right until she met her Waterloo, so to speak. She told an adoring crowd in Waterloo, Iowa, how wonderful it was to be in the hometown of John Wayne. Except, Waterloo was the hometown of serial killer John Wayne Gacey. (To quote Governor Perry, “Oops.”)

But back to the debate where Trump was center stage, literally. On one side was Jeb Bush and on the other was Scott Walker. The rest of the candidates were spread out in descending order according to their popularity, or lack thereof.

The key question going in was which Donald Trump would show up. Would it be “Mexicans are rapists,” “John McCain is not a war hero,” and “Perry needs to take an IQ test?” Or would it be “I’m a really nice guy and Ronald Reagan liked me,” Trump?

I’m guessing Trump was a teddy bear. Unless, of course, he got attacked in which case he likely reverted to his pit bull self. (I can hear critics say this column is “full of bull.”)

I think Trump probably showed his civil self. This, so that the vast millions watching (possibly a record for any Fox programming ever) will think to themselves, “Gee, he seems almost normal, other than the hair.”

And I don’t think Trump’s rivals went after him because they won’t want to alienate his followers for when he ultimately drops out of the race. And he will drop out one day. All due respect, he essentially knows nothing about the issues.

Speaking of knowing nothing about the issues, Trump says he’d put Sarah Palin in his cabinet. Secretary of the Interior? That way she could be in charge of shooting wolves from planes. Issues? Palin didn’t even know what newspapers she read.

The night before the debate there was an intriguing revelation. Reportedly, in a return phone call in May, Bill Clinton encouraged Trump to take a larger role in Republican politics. With Bill who knows why he said that. But it’s a fact that Trump gave money to Hillary’s past campaigns and to the Clinton Foundation. And also, that the Clintons attended Trump’s third wedding in 2005. (And likely would his fourth or fifth should the occasion arise.)

Frankly, I’m tired of Trump’s insults and bloviating how rich he is. Zuckerberg, Gates and Buffett could buy him out of petty cash. And none started with $50,000,000 from daddy. Plus, they want to do some good in the world with their money, not just accumulate more.

And they don’t brag about how clever they are to pay as little taxes as possible. In fact, Buffett thinks it’s a severely unfair system where he pays at a lesser rate than his secretary. I’m also sick of Trump’s demagogic threats to bomb the hell out of whomever. Given his temper, he’s the last one to be anywhere near the nuclear button.

I’ve often concluded that my readers know more than I do. In this case, since I’m writing about the debate unseen and you likely have seen it, there’s no question who’s wiser. You have timing on your side. And, judging by my word counter, mine just ran out.

Jack is at facebook.com/jackneworth, twitter.com/jackneworth and jnsmdp@aol.com.

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