Guess what folks, we’re in another war. If you’re keeping score at home this makes three simultaneously: Iraq, Afghanistan and now Libya. Frankly, I’m not a fan of any of them.

When and if we ever leave Iraq, one can only imagine the chaos and bloodshed that might follow. And Afghanistan may turn out to be the longest war in our history. (As Dick Cheney might say, “So?”)

Regarding Afghanistan, days ago at his court martial in Seattle, U.S. Army Specialist Jeremy Morlock admitted to being part of a rogue “kill team” that murdered three unarmed Afghan civilians. The German news magazine Der Spiegel published photographs, one of which shows Morlock smiling as he lifted the head of an Afghan man he’d killed. It seems to me that we continually put young people in insane situations and wonder why they act insanely.

Regarding Libya, President Obama’s rationale for the bombings is to protect civilians rebelling against Moammar Gadhafi’s brutal 41-year dictatorship. Notoriously nuts, Col. Gadhafi vows to “fight to the last man and the last bullet.” On the other hand, you have to admire Moammar’s “humility” in only making himself a colonel instead of a general.

I’m not sure what our objective is in Libya and what our exit scenario will be. Whatever it is, I hope it’s sooner rather than later.

Switching from wars to natural disasters, in earthquake-ravaged Japan, it’s unclear exactly how much progress there’s been in bringing the four damaged nuclear reactors “under control.” One thing that is clear, however, is Japan’s history with nuclear radiation is star-crossed, to put it mildly.

I shudder whenever I think about reactors in California that are so close to earthquake fault lines. My only solution is to stop thinking about it, which is where Charlie Sheen comes in.

Sheen’s personal “meltdown” seems to be getting as much media coverage as earthquakes, tsunamis and nuclear radiation. Then again, I suppose in writing about it I’m guilty of fueling that phenomenon.

As it happens, Sheen attended Santa Monica High School and was friends with Rob Lowe and Sean Penn. According to IMDB (Internet Movie Data Base) Charlie was a pitcher on the Viking baseball team with a lifetime record of 40-15. He didn’t graduate, however, as he was expelled shortly beforehand for “low grades and lack of attendance.” (Imagine, that.)

Charlie recently made a surprise appearance on Jimmy Kimmel’s TV show. Manic as ever, Sheen bolted onto the stage to rousing applause and proceeded to kiss Kimmel on the lips.

According to TMZ (Thirty Mile Zone), earlier in the day, Sheen’s ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, opted to let expire a restraining order she had against Sheen. The order had prevented him from coming near her or their twin sons. Apparently she and Charlie have settled their differences. (Which is more than CBS can say.)

Sheen is planning an upcoming one-man show, “Charlie Sheen LIVE: My Violent Torpedo of Truth.” Amazingly, Sheen sold out his first show at New York’s 6,000-seat Radio City Music Hall in less than 30 minutes. An additional show was added, and it sold out as well.

Evidently, there’s huge money in being crazy in public. If you do the math, Sheen could make $1,000,000 per show. Tickets to the Radio City performance range from $79.50 to $519, but if fans want a meet and greet with the Warlock, it will cost a whopping $750. Sheen’s PR department points out that he’s donating $1 per ticket to the Red Cross Japanese Earthquake Fund. (One dollar? Given the ticket prices that seems downright parsimonious.)

Sheen has sold out performances planned for Detroit, Chicago, Boston, Cleveland and Columbus, to name but a few. He promises audiences they will “hear the real story from the Warlock himself.”

Under the heading, “ratings trump everything,” is the news that CBS reportedly wants Sheen to return to “Two and a Half Men.” Maybe it’s because Sheen is suing his former bosses for $100 million. Or maybe they’re impressed with how much drawing power the sold-out shows indicate Sheen still has. Whatever the reasoning, according to Radar Online, CBS CEO Les Moonves is personally spearheading the negotiations.

Among the many insults Sheen hurled at his former employers was one directed at “Two and a Half Men” co-creator Chuck Lorre, who’s Jewish. Sheen sarcastically referred to Lorre as “Chaim Levine,” which is Lorre’s real name. It seems an odd insult coming from Sheen whose real name is Carlos Irwin Estevez. (Irwin? Actually, that might explain a lot.)

Unfortunately, if Sheen, who refers to himself as a “gnarly bitchen rock star from Mars,” does return to CBS, then he’ll assuredly tout it as just another example of his “Duh, winning!” To have to listen to his narcissistic, grandiose ramblings, I’d rather hear about wars, earthquakes and nuclear radiation. Well, almost.

If he isn’t wasting time on IMDB, RadarOnline or TMZ, Jack can be reached at Jnsmdp@aol.com.

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