Editor’s note: This is part one in a two part series.

We’ve all heard by now the stentorian tenet of “too big to fail.” For those of you who dwell in the darker recesses of your intellectual armoire, this idiotic idiom infers that the biggest and most interwoven businesses are so important to the vigor of our overall economy that they must be stimulated by government intervention to avoid apocalyptic bankruptcy, which would crash the casino-style economic policies that our government had bankrolled in the first place. And it doesn’t matter if you’re a car company, a bank, a financial institution or an Oprah Winfrey-sponsored fat farm, they are all supposedly considered “too big to fail,” aren’t they?

Is it an inconvenient truth that California’s agriculture industry is failing miserably? But not for Ponzi-scheming other people’s money or making bad home loans to illegal immigrants or building crappy cars that nobody wants to buy. It’s from a lack of water, folks. It’s not due, however, to a drought wrought within the happy-mushroom fallacies of global warming zombies, but through the legislative legerdemain of environmental special interest lobby groups. Thanks to the power players of the environmental movement, they canoodled a federal judge in 2007 into closing the aqueducts that feed water from the Sacramento River Delta to the croplands of the San Joaquin Valley. 

Their reason? To allegedly protect, under the Endangered Species Act, a two-inch long bait fish called the delta smelt which inhabits the Sacramento River Delta. Evidently it wasn’t smart enough to not drown itself in the sluice pipes of the aqueduct so the captains of enviro-atavism rescued the beleaguered hypomesus transpacifius under the guise of its dubious importance as an “indicator species” to the overall health of the delta. Haven’t these enviro-tards ever heard of Darwin? It’s why we don’t have saber-tooth cats, mastodons or Curt Cobain cruising Santa Monica Boulevard anymore. 

The weak and non-adapter species don’t survive well at rush hour in the eco-fast lane. Maybe it’s the delta smelts turn to play in traffic. Stupidity is designed to thin the herd in its democratic Darwinian motif. Too bad the superstitious true-believers of climate change don’t acknowledge the science of natural selection as it is an inconvenient truth in light of their intellectual insolvency. 

Of course, in its quest to save a minor species of bait fish, the environmental movement never considered the human cost. That cost has been, to the farming communities of the San Joaquin Valley, a whopping 40 percent unemployment rate in several districts, long lines at food banks and small farmers selling fallow parcels to real estate speculators. Let me get this straight, unemployed farm workers who grow food for a living are standing in line for food that is imported from China which is purchased with your tax dollars?

Too big to fail. Wow, Californication here I come! 

California, before this travesty of water-destitution, once supplied 25 percent (now hovering at 14 percent) of the U.S. food supply even though California agriculture accounts for a mere 2 percent of California’s GDP. California is the fifth largest supplier of food in the world so if you see some clipboard-ladened unwashed hippie from Save the Gay Nuclear Whales outside of a Starbucks on Main Street pimping on behalf of the mythology of “global warming,” please deliver upon him a stylish beating with some organic Whole Foods arugula imported from Zimbabwe. 

Of course, the enviro-dorks argue that it is evil corporate agricultural conglomerates who poison our land with genetically modified crops who are to be thwarted in order to maintain the eco-tirade of their anti-human/pro-fishy charade parade. Is it an inconvenient truth that, according to the USDA, 75 percent of farms in California are family-run farms of 99 acres or less? Or that only 2.8 percent of farms fall into the evil corporate agricultural conglomerates category of 2,000 acres or more?  

Folks, have you noticed in the last two years since the well ran dry in the San Joaquin valley that Santa Monica’s Farmers’ Markets have not only gotten smaller but more expensive? If you haven’t got produce to sell, why come to market since the enviro-nitwits, with the support of pliant liberal federal court, has condemned your small family farm to the politically correct version of “The Grapes of Wrath?”

And what’s been Washington’s response? Nothing, nada, zero, zilchadero. The new millennial era of hope and change is nothing more than an old-school Rooseveltian dust bowl peppered with grit flavored Obamanian indifference.  

In the second installment of this piece, I will tell you who financially benefits to put Hispanic farm workers into food lines, the green industry that will replace agriculture and the depth of racism from the cargo cultists of the environmental movement.  

Steve Breen is planning on going dynamite fishing next weekend and is still “the best looking mailman in the U.S. Post Office.” He can be reached at dulcamarax@yahoo.com.

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