I have written a couple of columns for the SMDP detailing my own health and lifestyle habits. Even with the indulgence of my weekly Cuban cigar and a professional adulation for single malt scotch, my QALY (Quality-Adjusted Life Year) is pretty damn spectacular for an ardent martial artist in his sixth decade of life.

Want good health? Take responsibility for your lifestyle choices, be they smart, stupid or indifferent.

So can someone please explain why left-leaning Astroturf wing nuts are now boycotting Whole Foods? Folks, shrub huggers boycotting an organic food market makes about as much sense as Hugh Hefner boycotting Viagra.

Could it possibly be that Whole Foods CEO John Mackey is also an ardent opponent of the political proctological nonsense called ObamaCare and is now considered an enemy of the state?

Is it an inconvenient truth that, in promoting a healthy lifestyle, Whole Foods’ philosophy is free-market capitalism operating at its highest level? Under free-market capitalism, you, as a customer at Whole Foods, pay a premium price for an awesome array of high-quality products at checkout. Your patronage provides a decent living wage to healthy, hard working, committed people as well as funding for 100 percent company-paid health insurance premiums without the putrescent moonshine from Dr. Macdaddy Squealgood’s snake oil stinking up the marketplace.

It was recently reported that U.S. Sen. Chris Dodd (D-Conn.) has prostate cancer. Obviously Chris hasn’t been eating his veggies. Unfortunately, under the provisions of the Kennedy/Dodd health care initiative, Sen. Dodd’s surgery would have been done by Joe the Plumber.

The initial cost estimates of the Kennedy/Dodd dog-and-pony rodeo was an appalling $4 trillion over 10 years and would force approximately 79 million Americans off of their private insurance and onto the “public option.”

Folks, if you think that waiting in line at the Post Office during Christmas is a hassle, then picture yourself waiting in line to see your government-apportioned doctor. You pull a number from that little paper ticket gizmo at the back of the line. As you look down to see that your lucky number under LottoCare is “78,999,993,” you then think to yourself, “Whew! Thank the senator from Chappaquiddick that I wasn’t last!”

Hopefully you brought along a good book to read while lolling in the paddock with the rest of the cattle. “War and Peace,” all five volumes in the original Russian, would be a pretty good choice. You don’t know Russian? Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to learn as the loud speaker overhead blares, “Now serving number 63,451,239!” If, however, your breast cancer metastasizes and kills you in a fashionably grotesque manner during your wait, there will be another set of government forms for you to fill out later to dis-enroll you from LottoCare.

Thanks for playing!

I find it hysterically comical and fortunate though that Obama pulled the plug on the Kennedy/Dodd health care initiative back in mid-June. I just love watching Democrats eat their own.

ObamaCareTM, however, is considering adopting McDonalds’ old motto of “millions and millions served” but do you really want to eat that kind of crap? The Oxymoron-in-Chief, while attempting to choke the American taxpayer on his healthcare crap sandwich, clowned himself when he said at a recent sycophant-infested town hall in New Hampshire “ … Fed-Ex and UPS are doing fine … it’s the Post Office that’s always having problems.”

Was Obama reading from Joe Biden’s teleprompter that night?

How big of a bowl of stupid does a guy have to eat in order to preach to his own choir about how splendiferous a government-run kumbaya health care system will be for their benefit on the one hand while simultaneously citing the financially dysfunctional woes of the government-run USPS on the other and then not expect that the rest of the country wouldn’t get all wee-weed up about it? Here, Bozo, you dropped your nose.

Would you want your brain tumor removed with the same governmental aplomb as “postal efficiency?”

The Oxymoron-in-Chief recently kvetched to a group of rabbis about ObamaCareTM, “We do God’s work of life and death.” Excuse me, but aren’t matters of life and death above Obama’s pay grade as he once expressed to Pastor Rick Warren? Since the government-sanctioned and taxpayer subsidized murder of the unborn is part of ObamaCareTM, is abortion now part of God’s resume? Did the Oxymoron-in-Chief then Twitter himself to pass the smell test?

Eating right and exercising is a hell of a lot cheaper than a quadruple by-pass, ladies and gentlemen. And like abortion, it is a lifestyle choice, after all.

Steve Breen’s conservative QALY is better than the Camel-smoking president’s QALY and is still “the best looking mailman in the U.S. Post Office.” He can be reached at dulcamarax@yahoo.com.

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