The pendulum has swung and we are now seeing a change so dramatic that it is likely to cause very serious problems in the future for both men and women. When did it become acceptable and even funny to watch women hit, scratch and verbally abuse men?
Watching a television show called “Rules of Engagement,” episode three of season seven called “Old Timers Day,” I saw the abuse of men by women as acceptable in the show. The character Jennifer grabs her husband Adam and tosses him head first into a wall when he says, “are you gaining weight?” Can you imagine how funny that would not be if Adam had grabbed Jennifer and tossed her into a wall if she asked him about his weight?
In another episode called “May Divorce be with You,” our hero Adam comes to the local diner to get coffee for his wife because the coffee maker is broken. He claims, “It’s more for me than her, Jen gets a little cranky if she doesn’t get her caffeine.” Another character asks if she scratched him in the face. He responds, “Yeah, but in all fairness I was smiling at her with my stupid face.” Then she shows up and says, “Seriously, you’re talking? Where’s my coffee?”
How funny would this be if Jen was punched in the face by Adam for not doing the laundry because the machine was broken and she said, “Yeah, but in all fairness I was smiling at him with my stupid face,” then her husband shows up when she is at the laundry mat and says, “Seriously, you’re talking? Where’s my laundry?”
I asked other people what they thought of this and the women said it was funny and saw no problem with this behavior. When I pointed out the issue to women, all of them immediately said he was not hurt. More than one woman asks if he was hurt? Like that would make any difference? At this point I wanted to know what level of hurt is no longer funny when it comes to men hitting and throwing women?
People don’t want to see the obvious. When normal society behavior was stacked against women, we as a society worked to change that. Those same forces for change are now passing equal rights and are now using the past behavior of men to justify why they can abuse men today. The state of women today is like no other period in our history. Forbes just released the World’s Most Powerful Celebrities list and the top four positions are filled by women. Angelina Jolie followed by Oprah Winfrey, Madonna and Beyonce Knowles.
Most economist will agree that if a woman can do a better job for the same money, the woman will get the job because most employers are driven by a desire to make more money and not by sexism. Today in these harsh financial times in the thick of the greatest recession since the Great Depression, the proof is in the facts. Men have lost jobs at a rate of 3 to 1. As of right now men have lost 4.75 million jobs while women have lost 1.6 million jobs in the same period, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.
As of right now more women receive a paycheck than men. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, women between the ages of 20 and 30 make 17 percent more income than men of the same age. Women have higher SAT scores now as well. As of 1982 women were at parity with men graduating college. Women have increased their number from 58 percent in 2004 to the current 63 percent in our nation’s universities. The number of women that graduated from university is almost 50 percent higher than men. The number of women accepted to colleges in 2009 exceeded men almost 2 to 1. Just as many women have a bachelor’s and advanced degree as men do today, but that number is changing as more men retire.
Watching the television show “NCIS,” Special Agent Timothy McGee is told by a female guest star (Brigid Brannagh) “refreshing to hear a man that is not a liar.” What kind of effect do these and other comments like them have on young men. Should young men believe they are not as honest as women?
In another show called “The Good Wife,” I saw a sexist scene that left me stunned. When two attorneys of the same rank from the same office walked into a storage room, the women pointed to the heavy boxes and looked at him to carry them. When I pointed this out to women that saw this show they tell me, “she is wearing high heels and a skirt.” Is it the man’s fault that she is wearing inappropriate clothing to do her job? I was then told “he is the man.”
So I ask, what does she do “as the woman?” Should she get his coffee or make photo copies for him? Maybe make him a sandwich and fetch him a beer? Today, women want men to be men but what does it mean for women to be women?
The pendulum is swinging the other direction and open discrimination against men in the courts, at work and in the schools will not be good for America. Just as we try to fight negative portrayals of women in the media, we must also look to negative portrayals of men so that we truly have equality and do not set up future generations for failure.
David Alsabery is cooking dinner, fetching groceries and is an all around nice guy. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.