Let me get this straight, the Obama administration extended an open-handed, Fourth of July invitation to the Iranian thugocracy for a weenie roast (without pre-conditions of course) while Iranian security forces had their hands clenched in an authoritarian choke hold around the necks of their own people? I can hear Obama now hunkered over the grill, “How do you like your dissidents cooked, Mr. Khameini? Medium, well done or big and bloody?”

Wow. No clue!

We don’t even have diplomatic relations with these chuckle heads yet Obama invited them over for our national birthday party? Edmund Burke once said, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” Well, so far so good. Evil is triumphing in Iran while Obama votes “present.”

It was later reported that our King of Kielbasa from Mombassa then rescinded the Fourth of July party invitations in order to salvage his ego in retrograde to his insipidly naive decisions. It’s rumored, however, that Obama invited RuPaul instead as the first lady wants to exchange fashion tips since they look so much alike. Let’s get this party started, right?

Excuse me folks, but aren’t we still the U.S.A., the leader of the free world, the arsenal of democracy, that shining city on the hill, yada-yada? Unfortunately, Top Dog Obama has since scratched those daily American entree items while substituting them for the a la carte menu of pulled pork-stimulus sandwiches with ACORN tossed salads smothered in bail-out flavored Kool-Aid vinaigrette from the hopey-changitude buffet. All for only $787 billion dollars!

What a bargain!

During his June 23 pool party presser, the president was slow roasted over the mesquite briquettes by Chuck Todd of NBC who queried about Obama’s frequently referenced sanctions against Iran should the violence further escalate. Der Wienerschnitzel-in-Chief, visibly in a pickle and not relishing the moment, then saucily admitted to then not possessing a single recipe of retribution and demurred to wait because he “doesn’t know how this will play out.”

Wow squared. No clue or plan!!

Obama’s foreign policy canapé then deep-fat fries itself beyond recognition in his acid reflux emetic, “Those who stand up for justice are always on the right side of history.” Excuse me, Mr. Spectator-in-Chief, but while the French are continually racking up the three pointers on the international indignation scoreboard, you are the bench warming towel boy with big ears. Does the Obama Doctrine merely consist of loitering on the sidelines for the shot clock to “play out” so you can then conveniently “stand up for justice?”

Wow cubed! No clue, no plan and no huevos!

After he had watched Iranian martyr Neda Soltan die on YouTube, Obama then solemnly “Homered,” “I think that anybody who sees it knows that there’s something fundamentally unjust about it.” Folks, allow yourselves to wallow around on the floor in the 11 herbs and spices of that statement. “I think that … there’s something fundamentally unjust about it.”

You think? Duh!

What a remarkable grasp of the obvious! This is the most superlatively understated definition of “think” that has ever drooled forth from an alleged “smart” guy since the Clintonian redefinition of “is.” Does Obama “think” that Heinz is our 57th state and that they export ketchup? What would he “think” if one of his own daughters lay on the pavement after being turned into Blutwurst by some faceless government goon from the Iranian DMV? Would he still “think” of that as “fundamentally unjust” or would he just pay the parking ticket?

Folks, after the first crackdowns were reported and especially after Neda Soltan’s demise, I didn’t need 10 days to express outrage. I didn’t need 10 days to be appalled. And I certainly didn’t need 10 days to assign condemnation.

But President Obama did.

He seemed to pussyfoot uncomfortably around Soltan’s gruesome extinction as an ill-timed global warming episode that’s rained out his future holiday picnic with man-crush and Persian disco monkey, President Manny Ahmadinnerjacket.

In light of Obama’s jejune defense of women’s rights during his recent speech in Cairo, doesn’t it bespeak of the obtuse callousness from our president, that the most important things to him during the first 10 days of the Iranian revolt were pimping for pocket change at a Democrat fundraiser, playing golf or dashing out for some gelato with his daughters and “puppy pops” for the first pooch? All of this while another man’s daughter made a more sanguinary contribution towards Iranian democracy on a dirty street corner a half a world away. I understand that Neda Soltan’s family will not be attending the weenie roast on Independence Day at the White House this year.

You know, there’s something fundamentally unjust about that.

Steve Breen supports hope and change in Iran this Fourth of July and is still “the best looking mailman at the U.S. Post Office.” He can be reached at dulcamarax@yahoo.com.

Print Friendly