What is the fuss about torture memos? Why are Democrats spending political capital on re-inventing possible Soviet/Maoist show trials and “truth tribunals” to pillory the Bush administration for the alleged abuse of jihadi scum? Neo-National Socialists (once known as Democrats) claim there are “no good reasons” to torture terrorists. As far as I’m concerned there were 2,974 really good “reasons” on 9/11.

Ask their families. Some of those “reasons” were busy jumping out of office windows to escape the torture of the flames and opted instead for a quicker, less gruesome denouement.

Democrats are funny. They’re for abortion, but they’re against killing terrorists.

For the record, there have been several hundreds of American men and women over the last couple of decades that have been subjected to every “enhanced” torture technique that was employed on the Islamo-fascist dirt bags currently held at Gitmo. By the way, those several hundreds of “tortured” Americans are past and present members of your armed forces now known as “right wing extremists.”

I was “tortured” by the U.S. military in SERE (Survival Evasion Resistance Escape) school and I can tell you that it works. It took a while but I blabbed.

I was “walled,” “boxed” and “boarded” as part of my U.S. Navy aircrew spook resume. And I volunteered for this crap, too! Folks, this is the “low end” of the Torquemada bell curve. I have been subjected to sleep deprivation, beatings and Barry Manilow’s “Copacabana” played over and over and over and over and … I blabbed, “OK? Please just make Barry stop singing!”

Bennet Kelley recently talked about torture on his slippery Soap Box “Why the Torture Memos Matter” in the Friday, April 24 edition of the SMDP. In an anguished, non-sequitur of linking his hero of political convenience, John McCain, [who he didn’t vote for as president anyway] to the Vietnam-era massacre at My Lai to the American “abuses” of Abu Ghraib, Kelley once again demonstrates his intellectual laziness resulting from too many bong hits of “hopium.” This doesn’t make him a bad man. He’s just not very fussy.

While Kelley cites unnamed FBI and Army intel sources as to the “ludicrous” efficacies of enhanced talking points impressed upon Khalid Sheik Mohammed, Obama’s own director of National Intelligence, Dennis Blair, has since declared otherwise.

Kelley then laughably thumbscrews the reader, with a commie Vietnamese translator in tow, to stand before “the wall” of the Saigon War Museum to then agonize in shame over the aberration of My Lai. I challenge Kelley to stand at “the wall” for American GIs at the Vietnam War Memorial in D.C. for about 10 minutes.

No translator is required.

Is it an inconvenient truth that the little known U.S. Army colonel who whitewashed the initial report surrounding the My Lai atrocity for the Democrat Johnson administration was Colin Powell? The iron maiden of irony is that if Lyndon Johnson hadn’t lied about the events in the Gulf of Tonkin that got us into the Vietnam conflict in the first place then a memorial wall in either country would have been rendered moot. Of course, Bennet Kelley never allows pesky facts to get in the way of a good story.

He then imagines the pathos (insert weepy violins here) of a future Grand Guignol meat puppet museum in Abu Gharib describing “Bush-era torture policies.”

Kelley needs to check out a U.S. House of Representatives report, Nov. 20, 2003, titled “Human Rights Violations Under Saddam Hussein: Victims Speak Out.” The bottom of page one describes, “chemical [acid] baths, routine rapes, brutal and arbitrary murder … and medical amputations as punishment.” On page two, “In the months following Operation Iraqi Freedom, U.S. forces have found … 263 mass graves containing as many as 300,000 corpses … .” There are 45 pages of testimony.

In 2007, during my son’s first deployment to Iraq, he and his unit uncovered a pre-invasion mass grave of school girls.

A bright spot concerning the alleged “evils” of George W. Bush as imagined in Bennet Kelley’s paranoid reality is on page two of this same congressional report: “As Edmund Burke said, in order for evil to prevail, good men must simply do nothing. Thankfully this year, good men and women acted and Saddam’s rule came to an end”.

Steve Breen is a self-described Regean Republican and the “best looking mailman in the U.S. Post Office.” He can be reached at dulcamarax@yahoo.com.

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