For me, 2012 was the year of “The Huh?” — as in “What? You’ve got to be kidding.”
It was the year that many people thought would be the last year of the world. They based this prediction on the fact that one Mayan calendar would come to an end before the new Mayan calendar would start. “Huh?”
Movie icon and philanthropist Elizabeth Taylor passed away in 2011. It took until 2012 for the release of a television movie about her life. Since she was heralded as a fine actress and received countless awards, including two Oscars; raised millions of dollars for AIDS research; and received the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award, the obvious choice to portray her in the movie was Lindsay Lohan. Huh?
The Iowa Supreme Court ruled that you can be fired from a job for being “too attractive” to your boss. Huh?
Actor/writer/director Ben Affleck announced that he was not running for the Senate. Huh?
President Obama won both the popular and electoral elections. Some Republicans responded by calling the election “a tie.” Huh?
Hockey team owners, concerned that the sport has had more trouble attracting television viewers, responded by locking out the players, which ensured that no fans could be excited about watching hockey. Huh?
Some countries have more mobile phones than toilets. Does this mean that they’re using their smart phones to find out where the nearest bathroom is? Huh?
Mitt Romney’s son Tagg recently said that his father never really had any interest in being president. Huh?
Chin lifts were the hottest form of cosmetic surgery this year. Huh?
There are still people who believe that climate change is just as silly of an idea as evolution. Huh?
Finally, the big one. Former CIA head David Petraeus, the keeper of the country’s most important secrets, couldn’t keep his illicit affair a secret.
Obviously a great judge of character, President Obama had chosen Petraeus to command the U.S. forces in Afghanistan before picking him to head the CIA.
Petraeus’ affair was uncovered because his mistress, Paula Broadwell, sent disturbing e-mails to someone she thought was too interested in Petraeus — Jill Kelley. Broadwell is an Army intelligence officer, but in this case “intelligence” is just a military title. Kelley, the target of the e-mails, as well as her husband, were friends with Petraeus and his wife, Holly. Jill Kelley told another friend of hers, Frederick Humphries II, about the e-mails, and since Humphries was an FBI agent he turned the information over to the FBI and continuously urged them to pursue the case vigorously. He also sent shirtless photos of himself to Jill Kelley, but not to Paula Broadwell. Obviously a very social person, Jill was also friends with four-star Gen. John R. Allen, who received cyberstalking messages from Paula Broadwell, too.
Natalie Khawam, Jill Kelley’s twin sister, was friends with both Petraeus and Allen. Earlier, Jill convinced both Petraeus and Allen to try to help her twin in a child custody case in which the judge found that Natalie had “misrepresented everything.” Huh? Huh? Huh?
Here’s to 2013, a year that I guarantee will have us saying, “Huh?”
Happy new year!
Lloyd Garver has written for many television shows, ranging from “Sesame Street” to “Family Ties” to “Home Improvement” to “Frasier.” He has also read many books, some of them in hardcover. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Check out his website at lloydgarver.com and his podcasts on iTunes.