WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN

REMEMBER LICORICE PIZZA?

It was a SoCal record store chain, using a term for LPs that was first used in an Abbott and Costello routine. I’m trying desperately to make a link here, to music and NOTEWORTHY, to let you know you should probably ignore the Jetblue promotion I touted in yesterday’s CURIOUS CITY column.

Sounded great — for three days they were flying in gen-you-wine New York pizza, to finish it and deliver it warm to the first 350 people within the delivery zone to order it from their website.

Problem is, they weren’t ready and the site crashed (actually, I got the message that it was not a “trusted” site, so I sure wasn’t going to put all my info in including my credit card number). Okay, that can happen. But they then told you to come back at 9 a.m. and they would start from there. Fair enough. This was just a lark, anyway.

I was ready, several minutes early, but when the countdown hit exactly 00, up popped a message saying, sorry, we’re out of pies, come back tomorrow night.

I wouldn’t if I were you unless you have no life and enjoy staring at a screen to play a bet with enormous odds against and a pretty small, 16-inch cheesy payoff.

I wrote Jetblue and they responded, but they tried to tell me that at 9 AM they had 1500 orders, for their 350 pizzas. I’m supposed to believe 1500 people could input all their info, make choices, to place their order, all in a nanosecond?

Sorry if I wasted your time and got your hopes up. Go order a great local pizza for tonight, you probably can’t tell the difference, except it will be fresher.

RECOMMENDED:

TONIGHT! and Fri, KENDRICK LAMAR — The Championship Tour with SZA, ScHoolboy Q, others (more Grammy nominations than wins, never album or song of the year except in rap, but just won a Pulitzer Prize, first ever non-jazz or -classical artist, did you see his stunning Grammy performance this year? he’s not only musically risky and excellent he’s one of our leading social commentators through his daring performances, and you’re going to spend one second listening to a narcissist blowhard like Kanye?), Thurs-Fri 7:30 PM, the Forum, Inglewood, $49.50-$204.50.

TONIGHT! “WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC (Downey-born, architecture student at Cal Poly and the only guy outside of Louisiana to make the accordion cool, Dr. Demento discovered and aired his demented song parodies and a unique career was born, and he will surely entertain you), Thurs 8 PM, The Theatre at Ace Hotel, downtown LA, $59.50-$79.50.

S*** GIVER (young LA trio to watch, getting better all the time, deep, a grabbag of influences from ‘80s to now, nicely stewed and delivered, shimmering but rocking guitar, distinctive vocals, dipping into psychedelia, prog rock, and tomorrow night you can have Fake News too), Fri 9 PM, the Monty Bar, downtown LA, no cover.

GUITAR SHORTY (one of the last of the old style bluesmen, joined Ray Charles’ band at 16, at 17 Willie Dixon produced his single on Cobra, moved to New Orleans and led the house band at the famous Dew Drop Inn, at 19 with Sam Cooke moved to the West Coast, went to Seattle and married Jimi’s sister and now you only have to roll down to 4th Street to catch him), Sat 9 PM, Harvelle’s, Santa Monica, $12.

THE ENGLISH BEAT (if you look on stage and Dave Wakeling seems to be the only original member, don’t be concerned, he’s all you need and is often leading different bands with that name through the catalog and you’ll swear they sound just like the records and you’ll probably say to yourself or your friends, it’s a common remark overheard at their shows — I never realized they had that many great songs!), Sat 9 PM, the Canyon, Santa Clarita, $24-$38.

JAZZ AT MT. OLIVE — JEFF COLELLA, PUTTER SMITH (what a treat, and just up the street, pianist Colella was pianist/conductor for 16 years for Lou Rawls, also worked with Kenny Washington, Anita O’Day, Dolly Parton, Gregory Hines, Diane Shuur, while Smith’s credits include Ray Charles, Thelonious Monk, Arts Blakey, Farmer and Pepper, Burt Bacharach, Manhattan Transfer, Beach Boys, Righteous Brothers, Sonny and Cher, and Dianes Michelle and Shuur, and played the assassin in the James Bond movie “Diamonds are Forever”), Sun 5 PM, 14th & Ocean Park, Santa Monica, donation at door.

U2 (they have their haters, seems any band that reaches the pinnacle in rock and roll does, and Bono personally has his non-fan club, but for Pete’s sake this is a legendary outfit, same four guys for 42 years now, making great music and staging legendary shows — 360 Tour was largest grossing tour of all time — and they put themselves out there for important social issues), Tues-Wed 8 PM, the Forum, Inglewood, $46-$330.

STEPHEN STILLS, JUDY COLLINS (the last time I heard Stills, a couple years ago, he could not come very close to those old high notes he used to love but he has some great songs, solo and CS&N/Y, and the man was always one of the best pickers around, and his former squeeze Judy Blue Eyes is still enchanting for her voice and classic songs), Wed 8 PM, the Rose, Pasadena, $68-$120.

JOHN PRINE (one of our most treasured songwriters, whose voice could transport you and still does but at a lower gravelly gravitas due to his battle, successful, with squamous cell cancer, if you don’t know him this show, any show of his, will make you a fan), Wed 8 PM, Grammy Museum, downtown LA, $30.

BAND NAMES OF THE WEEK: Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Sure Sure, Trapped Within Burning Machinery, Miguel Mendez & the Lords of the Apocalypse.

LYRIC OF THE WEEK: “Bunk beds, shaved heads, Saturday night, a warehouse of strangers with sixty-watt lights. staring through the ceiling, just wanting to be lay one of too many, a young PFC: Donald.

There were spaces between Donald and whatever he said, strangers had forced him to live in his head, he envisioned the details of romantic scenes after midnight in the stillness of the barracks latrine.

Hot love, cold love, no love at all, a portrait of guilt is hung on the wall, nothing is wrong, nothing is right, Donald and Lydia made love that night. Love.

They made love in the mountains, they made love in the streams, they made love in the valleys, they made love in their dreams, but when they were finished there was nothing to say, ’cause mostly they made love from ten miles away.” — John Prine (“Donald and Lydia”)

Charles Andrews has listened to a lot of music of all kinds, including more than 2,000 live shows. He has lived in Santa Monica for 32 years and wouldn’t live anywhere else in the world. Really. Send love and/or rebuke to him at therealmrmusic@gmail.com

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