Editor’s note: The following report was compiled at an anti-healthcare rally in Harrisburg, Pa. on Monday, Aug. 10.
Guy walks into a rally against healthcare. Badum-ching!
That’s right, a rally against healthcare and it’s me walking in and the juices are flowing again. “Hell no we won’t go,” I’m chanting to myself to warm up on the way in, all fired up if not just a little bit nervous because I forget what you’re supposed to do at these things, but then everybody says it’s like hopping back on a bicycle.
It’s been quite a while, see, since we used to march on Washington and wherever all else to rail against stuff like war and racism and injustice and although you might think railing against war and racism and injustice is a bit more juicy than railing against healthcare, we all know in this pavilion here today that healthcare is every bit as juicy to rail against as war and racism and injustice.
We stand, or I should say sit, here today, some 200 strong, single-minded in our quest to get this healthcare thing to crawl back under the rock it came out from under.
We know full well now the filthy truth about healthcare or at least the part about the Obama Death Panels that will execute mentally ill children, and we come here today ready to rabble-rouse to all hell and to speak truth to power, and wow, does it ever feel good to say that thing again, let alone do it.
Yes, here we sit, me and my fellow dissidents, er, patriots, mad as hell at and united against healthcare. We’re the proud ones our young mentor, Sean Hannity, would no doubt refer to as “Great Americans,” and we are strong together in our noble mission to destroy healthcare, strong notwithstanding a few electric scooters. Do not underestimate what is under all this white hair you see out here today I am thinking, and maybe do not underestimate what is under all this white skin you see out here today too, because as I look around there is not a single, solitary person of color in here in this landmark City Island Pavilion in this predominantly black city of Harrisburg, Pa. That’s right, there is not a single black man, woman or child to be seen. Well, as another of our bold, young gurus, Glenn Beck said, and Glenn Beck knows, “Barack Obama hates white people,” and maybe in a way this rally here gives all of us “Great Americans” a chance to hate right on back if you know what I mean.
But that’s like a buzz kill, man, so I quickly turn my attention back to the stage where a local morning radio guy has the veins bulging out of his neck as he shouts at the top of his lungs about how he will join some doctor in being dragged off to the Obama concentration camps, and about how all of us senior citizens would be put out to pasture to die under Obamacare, and now he is skillfully taking that murderous scenario to a beautiful crescendo of hate and fear and you can even hear the crowd go kind of wild, maybe 10 or 20 of them at least.
But then, it’s kind of hard to clap your hands when you’re fanning yourself on this torrid summer day with paper fans handed out by those organizers in the red T-shirts. Those organizers in the red T-shirts have a cool bus by the way that matches their T-shirts, colorful as all get-out, even if it does say “Hands Off My Healthcare,” instead of having groovy psychedelic waves and stuff painted on it. But it really does kind of fit right into this fresh new counter-cultural vibe.
But back to that morning radio guy and his virtuoso crescendo of hate and fear and Hallelujah! Brothers and sisters, this is what I’m talking about. Now this is a protest rally.
I’m getting goose bumps, and I bet soon we might even start chanting: “Just say no, just say no,” to wicked healthcare. Now if things really get going, oh man it’s too much to hope for, but maybe we could do a couple “Drill baby drill, drill baby drills” just for the heck of it if time permits and if everybody’s not too tired.
Ron Scott Smith is on an extended fact-finding mission in a far-away land. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org