After my column last week, one particular reader, whom either lives in Cleveland or hates the Lakers, completely flipped out. I’ve been writing columns in Santa Monica for over 20 years and his e-mail takes the cake (assuming there’s a cake for profanity and lousy grammar).
It came from somebody using an e-mail address with the name Smee in it but, rather cowardly, was unsigned. When you see what he wrote, you’ll know why. I’ve cleaned it up but it wasn’t easy.
“Your a (F-bomb) joke with a joke career. Anything you write is trash and you make about $25k a year. Who the (F-bomb) are you to make fun of a city you’ve never been to? California is falling to peices [sic] and your a (F-bomb) peice [sic] of crap.”
And those were the nice parts!
I e-mailed back, “Did somebody get out of bed on the wrong side this morning?” Actually, I have a feeling it’s every morning.
Two weeks ago I received an e-mail from a reader named Cher (no relation to Sonny). She apparently thought she was being witty by opening with, “Jack, or is it Jackass?” She should keep her day job.
Cher attacked me and defended Bush: “So what if he couldn’t pronounce ‘nuclear?’” I agree that it’s at the bottom of his many crimes and misdemeanors. But how come no one on his staff corrected him? The truth is W possesses a legendary temper, especially when he’s being corrected (something Bush Sr. probably did constantly in getting Jr. out of his various jams).
Evidence of W’s immature temper was allegedly revealed during Katrina. His aides actually argued among themselves who was going to be the bearer of the bad news. To avoid a browbeating, they decided to burn a DVD, Katrina Highlights, so to speak, and leave it on his chair. Cher also complained about my not “letting go” of the Bush administration. This, at a time when Dick Cheney’s on TV more than Ryan Seacrest? It’d be a lot easier to “let go” if they’d just go away quietly.
Unconditionally it seems, Cher adores Cheney, “I would take a hundred leaders like him over the obtuse liberal (Obama) we have now.” Ninety-nine more Dick Cheneys? Sounds like a bad horror movie. Didn’t one do enough harm? I suppose then, instead of being in two wars, we could be in 50.
Because of his admitted affinity for the “dark side,” Cheney’s often referred to as Darth Vader. He left office with a record low 13 percent approval rating (the same number that think Elvis is still alive). And yet whenever I turn on a TV lately he’s busily rewriting history. Frankly, I liked Cheney better when he was hiding in an undisclosed location.
Cheney’s many TV appearances may be designed to head off an anticipated “truth commission.” Or, possibly he’s angling for Fred Thompson’s acting career. Thompson’s booked for TV shows and movies through 2010. And, have you ever seen a photo of his wife?
It seems an inescapable fact that the damage from the last eight years will never go away unless there’s accountability (go to: Bushtruthcommission.com). John Dean, Nixon’s former attorney, is convinced that the Bush administration was far more corrupt and dangerous than even his former boss (as described in his book, “Worse Than Watergate”).
If Nixon had gone to jail, maybe Bush and Cheney might have hesitated before shredding the Constitution (although they were having so much fun, who knows)?
I realize I’m in the minority on the truth commission idea. I was thinking it might be more popular if it were a reality show, i.e. “Dancing With the War Criminals.” Each contestant would dance and then tell the truth about his or her crime. (If Cheney got water boarded it could even go pay-for-view.) As an incentive for telling the truth, the most heinous criminal would receive a full presidential pardon!
The categories could include: Violating FISA, Gitmo, rendition prisons, secret Enron energy meetings, outing CIA agent Valerie Plame, torture, violating the Geneva Conventions, and prosecuting an illegal, unnecessary and disastrous war that left us less safe and bankrupt. Bush/Cheney’s various crimes were limitless, which was a nightmare for the country but a plus in case the show goes into syndication.
The contestants would include Bush, Cheney, Rummy, Gonzales, Condi and even “Scooter” Libby, to name but a few. Each week the audience would vote one criminal off the show. He or she would then be frog-marched directly to jail, which would be great for ratings. In the end there’d be one supreme criminal left standing. My money would be on Cheney.
In the meantime, I still think the Lakers will win the NBA championship. If so, I can just imagine Smee’s next e-mail. I can only hope that he’s forgotten how to swear and learned how to spell.
Jack can be reached at Jackneworth@yahoo.com unless you’re Smee or Cher, in which case he has discontinued using e-mail.