In a matter of hours we will all be facing “Carmageddon,” the shutting down of Interstate 405 between the 10 and the 101 freeways as part of the construction to widen the 405. (For a laugh, go to You Tube and type “Carmageddon rant.”)
When I first heard Carmageddon I envisioned born again motorists being whisked from their cars directly to heaven while non-believers remain stuck in the eternal hell known as 405 rush hour traffic. (If it happened there’d be some pretty cool used cars available.)
Onramps to the 405 will be shut down later today and reopened by 5 a.m. Monday. Should there be delays the contractor will be fined $72,000 an hour ($72,000 more than our contractor was fined for our still unfinished beach bathrooms).
On Sunday there are two events of national import, both involving women. In Germany, the U.S. women’s soccer team plays against Japan in the FIFA World Cup final (Sunday at 11 a.m. PDT on ESPN.)
The other “event” involves Casey Anthony in Tampa, Fla. Inexplicably, having been found not guilty of murdering her 2-year-old daughter, on Sunday Casey will leave jail a free woman. (Even though almost everyone other than her family, her attorneys, and Geraldo Rivera, think she’s guilty as sin.)
For those unfamiliar with Ms. Anthony, below are my Cliff Notes. (I wonder if there was actually a guy named Cliff? And is he jealous of Craig who made a fortune with Craig’s List?)
At 22, Casey left her parents’ Tampa home on June 16, 2008, taking 2-year-old Caylee. She didn’t return for 31 days. Casey’s mother, Cindy, asked repeatedly to see Caylee, but Casey claimed that she was too busy with work (at a job that didn’t exist) and that Caylee was with a non-existent nanny named Zanny. (I couldn’t make this stuff up folks, but apparently Casey could.)
Evidence proved that Caylee died during those 31 days. But what did Casey do during that time? Among other party girl activities, she entered a “hot body” contest and got a shoulder tattoo that read, “Bella Vita” (Beautiful Life).
Finally, on Dec. 11, 2008 Caylee’s badly decomposed body was found with duct tape on the skull (beyond gruesome). Casey’s lead defense lawyer, Jose Baez, told the jury that Caylee accidentally drowned in the family’s swimming pool. (I believe that as much as I believe that on the night Nicole Simpson was murdered, O.J. was chipping golf balls.) As for Casey’s habitual lying, Baez suggested that it stems from sexual abuse by her former police officer father, George, when Casey was 8. (reminiscent of the Menendez brothers murder defense in 1996).
It’s tough to come up with humor about this but Jay Leno managed to right after the shocking not guilty verdict. “Apparently the O.J. jury retired and moved to Florida.”
It’s intriguing how many courtroom commentators were connected to O.J. Labeled the “social media trial of the century,” the Anthony trial’s TV ratings rivaled those of O.J.’s. (And Judge Perry was a huge improvement over Judge Ito but so would have Judge Judy.)
Among the TV “legal experts” was former D.A., Marcia Clark, who made millions on a book after she and fellow D.A. Christopher Darden, bungled the Simpson case. Another O.J. connection, Kato Kaelin, was on HLN’s “Dr. Drew Show,” saying that he’s convinced Casey’s guilty. (And O.J., too.) Kato invited an unenthusiastic Dr. Drew to his comedy show at the Orleans Casino in Las Vegas.
I must confess to a guilty pleasure after the verdict. I thoroughly enjoyed watching Geraldo, who thinks Casey is innocent, and Bill O’Reilly who thinks she’s Satan, scream at each other. Frankly, I’d pay good money to see those two in a steel cage match. (As long as flabby Billo keeps his shirt on.).
I also enjoyed watching TV legal commentator Nancy Grace go bananas. Some call Grace “outspoken” others call her “a bully.” In any event, right after the verdict, I reveled in watching Ms. Grace just about pull her hair out. (Actually, I agree that Casey’s guilty but I don’t have any extra hair to spare.)
In the end, the Casey Anthony affair is a tragedy. A 2-year-old child is dead. Her mother, who likely caused the death, was found not guilty. And her parents, who adored their grandchild, are devastated. Casey may be going free but there are no winners here.
But tomorrow I hope the U.S. women win the World Cup. And I hope the re-opening of the 405 goes smoothly, which is more than I can say about our beach bathrooms. (I realize I’m giving new meaning to “bathroom humor.”)
As for Casey, I hope she gets the life she deserves. One of the Goddesses moved out, so maybe Casey could move in with Charlie Sheen. Now that would be justice.
If he isn’t too busy watching tabloid courtroom trials or women’s soccer, Jack can be reached at Jnsmdp@aol.com.