I have no idea what I’m going to get Bill Bauer for Christmas this year (“Ye olde holiday wish list,” My Write, Dec. 23). Last year I committed to riding my bike to work everyday to help ease all the traffic congestion in Santa Monica that he hates so much, but now he thinks we need more police to enforce the non-issue of cyclists running over pedestrians, and wants to stymie the progress of building new bike lanes. Tough customer!
I know Bill is a frequent columnist for the Santa Monica Daily Press, although he’s yet to write anything interesting. His facts are consistently accurate, yet his opinions are invariably obnoxious and angry. Every blowhard has that right to be irritating, boring and well-informed, I just wish I could do it as publicly as him. I absolutely love his work, and read every column he writes. He’s my third favorite septuagenarian, right behind Judi Dench, and way ahead of Wilford Brimley.
In his latest rant (love that he did this whole Christmas list theme; it’s about as funny as an Albertsons coupon) he blasts two things that are reliable sticking points for him — vehicle traffic congestion, and cyclists in Santa Monica. There’s this lame little gem: “I wish we had more traffic enforcement such as motorcycle officers to cite bicyclists who ride on the sidewalks, run stops signs and signal lights, cut off pedestrians and ride at night wearing dark clothing on bikes without lights or reflectors.”
What a kook.
Love the work, keep it up.